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Black Gay Men Who Can't Embrace or Accept Their Sexuality!

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First I want to say I truly feel for any gay man who is struggling or has struggled with their sexuality and identity.

This is truly an issue within our community. So many men are constantly battling with depression and many of them even become suicidal.

We have lost so many gay men of color to undiagnosed mental illness and the fact these statistics show us it's happening at a growing rate makes it extremely frightening.

The issue goes beyond just the toxic homophobic upbringing for a lot of these men. But once they turn on themselves it's truly an even deeper problem and concern.

We have a huge community and surprisingly there are a lot more DL men out here than what we come across online. A lot of them aren't even on dating apps. This means we have a larger percentage of men who do not identify as homosexual or struggling with that reality.

I understand the fact some men do not like to identify as homosexual or use terms such as gay to identify their sexuality. The issue with this is the fact some of these men are also going as far as to marrying and impregnating women while living a double life. Unfortunately in some cases they also infect them with HIV, STIs due to their outside sexual habits.

It's one thing to identify as bisexual but most of these men don't even want to take ownership of their lies and deceit. They rather claim to be straight despite their sexual interest in both men and women.

Yes, we have a lot of men engaging in homosexual acts but not claiming the lifestyle as their own.

These men mingle and engage with us but often leave it behind closed doors. They go home to their wives and girlfriends hiding their true colors. Not only ruining the lives of those who trust them but eventually their own.

I don't know what we will be able to do to help these men come to terms or at least identifying with their true sexual identity. You would think with the way the world is becoming more open-minded to homosexuals that these men would be more honest.

The truth is a majority of them still fear the black-lash of their communities and society.

That doesn't mean they should continue to struggle with identifying as being gay. You can be aware of your truth without exposing it to the world. The hard part for these men is accepting the reality of being gay.

The word gay and for some people it comes with a harsh reality. Some of these men struggle with their sexual identity due to the fact they endured a lot.

Some of them have witnessed other gay men endure a lot. In my opinion that may have traumatized them as well causing them not to want that same treatment.

I think what we want is for these men to come to a place of putting the trauma or fears to the side. We need these men to open their minds and eyes to the bigger picture. It's not about making them come out to the world waving a rainbow flag and throwing glitter.

We want these men to understand that in order to help the black community heal from the impact of HIV, we need them to do the work.

The community doesn't need any more men who are struggling with their sexuality, who may be out here sleeping with both men and women without protection to continue to harm our sisters and brothers. It's not fair to them that your internal battle will ultimately affect them as well.

Before I finish this article I want to speak to gay men who aren't bisexual or engaging with women sexually. But still struggling with the reality of being gay.

You have to forgive those who have put in your mind that being YOU was wrong, ugly, incorrect and damned.

You are loved and you know your truth and reality as a gay man. The hurt, pain, trauma, all that internalized oppression is still affecting you. No matter what you endured or experienced you can't keep beating yourself up over it.

Your parents didn't accept you so you don't feel worthy of acceptance and that's the trick of the enemy. You are accepted but you have to first accept yourself despite what you were programmed to believe or go against.

Nothing else matters and nothing they say will affect you unless you allow them to. We have to see our strength despite the fact we've been forced to hide in the dark. But the truth, the light is still lit inside of you. Stop dimming your light for other people and what they think about you.

You belong and your purpose matters. Stop allowing people to have you feeling less than what you are because they can't take you! You have to embrace all aspects of yourself as a gay man. Your personality, mannerisms, all of that matters and nobody should make you feel any less about yourself.

With that being said, I'll be back with more regarding this topic in the near future. I just wanted to touch the surface and we will dive deeper into this topic soon.

Remember nobody has power or control over us or our lives unless we give it to them.

So don't keep giving your power away to people who are powerless themselves! They want to change you or tell you to change cause they don't have any power to change themselves or their own lives.

it’s a vibe it’s a mood 😛😜


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