Calling all in-betweeners.
I want you guys to come in here and be proud of your masculinity and femininity.
Often we’re told that being feminine is a negative trait for a man.
Showcasing your femininity would turn off those who seek out masculinity in other men.
But the truth is your femininity makes you unique.
Your feminine side shows facets to you that others would never be able to understand.
I’ve struggled with the duality of femininity and masculinity all my life.
I was told I was either too feminine to be masculine
I was too masculine to claim to be feminine.
But the reality is the fact that I am, who I am.
I display my masculine qualities in certain ways
Just like I express my feminine tendencies in other ways.
Femininity and masculinity should not be defined by your own definition or opinion.
I truly feel like both are fluid.
Your femininity can showcase a stronger masculine side to you than the standard idea of masculinity.
Being masculine is not a one-way course.
Masculinity comes in many forms.
What I struggle with is the fact that gay men define masculinity as just one thing and anything outside of that “norm of masculinity” isn’t masc at all.
Being an in-betweener growing-up, I often forced myself into one category or the other.
I never felt comfortable just being fluid with my personality, my mannerisms, my sexuality.
It’s either you’re a top or a bottom.
Even being versatile you’ll more than likely to come across (a top or a bottom) that will require you to play a role or pick aside.
So being in-between is an everlasting struggle until you are able to find your voice.
I want you guys to find your voice and not to allow men to make you pick or choose.
But also not to allow them to mold you into what they want you to be.
I’ve had guys tell me they were completely okay with me being masculine and feminine.
Weeks, months down the road they would often request me to be more masculine.
Whether if it’s them asking or bringing up the idea of me being more dominant in bed, or aggressive.
At the end of the day, it’s almost as if I’m not enough and they’re trying to make me almost hyper-masculine.
When you start to embrace both aspects of yourself completely you begin not to care what other men want or try to low-key seek from you.
It becomes a take me or leave me situation.
At this point, after I make it clear that I am in-between (equally masculine and feminine.)
I give them the ultimate to either stick around or throw up the deuces.
Never allow a man to make you pick or choose a side of yourself that comes naturally to you.
It’s not a force for us.
It’s not an alter ego or a split personality.
We are truly both in different aspects of our lives.
If you date a guy and he’s in-between and he wants to do drag, or wear makeup.
ACCEPT HIM FOR WHO HE IS.
DO NOT TRY TO CHANGE HIM.
You can’t guilt him for that, even though, you know he may be more masculine and dominant in the bedroom.
You can’t pick and choose what you like about him and what you want to change.
That’s not fair at all.
I am who I am.
We are who we are.
If you can only focus on and dislike the feminine qualities instead of the full package then don’t even waste your time.
Allow us to express ourselves.
Allow us to be comfortable in our own skin.
Some of us don’t express interest or show other sides of us due to judgment and the lack of support of feminine gay men in general.
Yes, some men hide their feminine side so that they can date or sex guys.
Some men are into cross-dressing but you would never know it cause they only display their masculine side.
Stop judging a book by its cover until you read the fucking chapters.
You don’t like feminine men that’s okay.
Then that’s your preference.
But don’t shame, or try to mold in-between gay men into being what you want us to be because it’s not right at all.