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I Fell In Love With Him Not His HIV Status! | Would You Date A HIV Positive Man?




Would you date an HIV positive man?

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I have fallen in love with a couple of men who were all HIV positive and I am not ashamed to say as an HIV negative man — that I would do it all over again.

I never allowed HIV to prevent me from getting closer to a man. If anything his status opened him up even more to me. I find that men who are open with their HIV status are often transparent and I love their honesty.

I always like to think of dating other gay men with the mentality that anyone could be HIV positive. I go into the situation with the mindset of the possibility of them being positive because you just never know.

I’ve known men who kept their status a secret for many reasons not knowing that I was not judgmental. Eventually, I gained their trust and they revealed their status to me.

Everybody isn’t open with their truth and sharing it due to the lack of education and often the reactions they get from other gay men regarding their status.

I remember a time when announcing your status was a risk and problem. A lot of men were against dating let alone having sex with HIV positive men. Years ago, BGClive was filled with health reads and messy exposure of men’s statuses.

While today men are more open to the idea of dating men with HIV — years ago it was definitely a different story!

I think today people have gotten educated on HIV and are more open to dating men with it. Sure, there are going to be some men who are reserved when it comes to HIV. I don’t condemn men who have their own reservations about it. Ones preference is their choice. I can’t say it’s wrong to be with the idea or against it.

In Case If You Missed It!  I’m Getting Mine Before You Get Yours!

I always ask guys if they would be open to dating men with HIV and more often than not they agree that they would. For me that makes me happy because I’ve heard the negative stories from my exes regarding their dating experiences. I’ve heard the not so nice things some men have done and said to them.

People who often have hateful things to say about men with HIV only see it from one perspective. They assume those men were all promiscuous and playing Russian roulette. But I can tell you first hand not all men with HIV contracted the virus through promiscuous behavior.

Believe it or not, all of my exes who were positive contracted the virus through previous trusted partners. People who they trusted and were faithful to who ended up betraying their trust. So we have to get rid of that one and only argument about men who are positive due to their promiscuous activities.

I think once a person sees these men’s hearts and actually hear their stories they will see a much deeper side to them.

My HIV positive exes were some of my best lovers and friends. While people like to bash and condemn them, they always gifted me with a lesson for life. One of those lessons is to never judge a book by its cover.

See with HIV positive men we only see the headline title of the book: POSITIVE!

We don’t get to read the chapters to see their beginning and midway point. We just focus on the cover and the title not knowing this is a best seller.

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But when it comes to HIV negative men it doesn’t matter what you see on the cover. Something I’ve learned is that some of those books are lacking quality in many aspects.

Sometimes their headline titles don’t always match the chapters inside the book. The creativity may not be there nor the grammar quality on the pages. You may see a full novel but open the book and see many blank pages. So no, negative men are not any better than positive men.

And for all of you who focus on status let me just tell you this also… You may be against the idea of dating a positive man but until you know for sure that the negative ones are actually negative you need to open your hearts and minds.

See when you think he’s negative, he just might be negative. But what do you do if one day the guy you been with turns out to become positive? What you may think isn’t always what it really is…

Food for thought!

Before I end this post I want to tell all the HIV positive men, that we admire your strength and courage. It is not easy for somebody with a stigma placed on their back to open up to the world with their truth. Your status does not define you! You define your status. Being HIV positive does not make you who you are. You may be attached to your positive status, but that attachment does not define you!

Also to those of you who have been in relationships with HIV positive men! You have saved some of those men. I’ve known men who wanted to end it all because of what that title brings into one’s life. For you to be able to love somebody despite what many people feel about them says a lot about your character! You are a true soldier and you have helped redefine the way that stigma looks on these men. We have shown people that being HIV negative doesn’t mean we can’t love those who aren’t. That’s the power of embrace and true unconditional love!!

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We need the community to embrace our HIV positive brothers. These men are fighting a battle in which we would never be able to understand. Despite not being in their shoes but being able to walk beside them through their lowest points and beautiful ones.

I would definitely say having an open mind will benefit the community and those who are suffering from HIV. The more we support these men the better the outcome and results will be for them. Showing that serodiscordant gay couples are just as healthy as HIV-Negative couples is the first step! There’s a lot of work ahead but I believe we’re slowly but surely removing these stigmas about HIV positive men and dating.



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According To Anthony

How To Know When He Doesn’t Like YOU That He Only Likes The Bussy Or The D!ck




I’m going to be as blunt as possible. I know this may come off cold but I gotta be honest about the shit.

He didn’t like you, wasn’t going to ever like you and only used you for the dick or bussy.

Yeah, I said it!

It’s so obvious and apparent that sometimes it goes unnoticed by y’all. Shit, I’ve been in the same situation — until I had to step outside of it and see the truth.

It’s never easy to come to terms with being used for sex. A lot of gay men are skilled at this shit. It baffles me when people don’t know when somebody gaming them.

So I created a list for y’all with all the tell signs. Things that most of you probably have noticed but ignored or tried to overlook for other reasons.

He’s Only Available During Certain Hours Of The Day (Mostly At Night)

It’s one thing if he’s working or in school, etc. If you find yourself dealing with a half-ass guy who only comes around for sex, you better run! It’s usually the easiest way to spot a guy who happens to be using you.

Most of you are so hypnotized by the dick that you don’t see it coming. Some of you have caught them in the act of cheating and being dishonest. It’s all about sex for him. Read in-between the lines.

The Only Conversation He Has Is Based Around Sex!

If you find the only most interesting topic of choice for him is sex then accept that shit. This is his way of letting you know, he’s not investing his time into anything more than that.

In Case If You Missed It!  I’m Getting Mine Before You Get Yours!

I’ve been in situations where I would try to get to know a guy, but it would always lead in a different direction.

You should know where his mind is by his conversation and if his actions only equal up to sex than you a plaything and not the real thing for him.

He Talks About NSA (No Strings Attached)

If he tells you NSA only then you need to accept that. Don’t sit up wasting your time with somebody who doesn’t value it.

You have to identify his purpose immediately or else you’ll just fall into his game. No, you can’t fuck him so good that he’ll love you.

You can’t butter him up and gain more than his sperm. When a person shows you who they are believe them. There’s no altering or changing his ways, mindset or mentality.

After Sex He’s Nowhere To Be Found!

Have you ever dated somebody and noticed them disappearing after sex? I mean it could be for a few days or even weeks. Then all of a sudden they pop back up just in time to hook up again?

Yes, this should be also a big red flag that he’s only involved with you for sex. When he gets what he wants he’s onto the next piece of ass or peen. More than likely he has a few guys in the rotation.

There’s No Emotions or Intimacy Involved!

Have you ever had sex with a person and felt nothing from it? I mean like just straight penetration but no actual romantic connection or even attempt to be intimate? This is how things are for these type of men.

In Case If You Missed It!  Ghosted.

They will have sex with you on a regular basis with no affection or emotions attached. It’s basically meaningless and it serves no real purpose. Most guys like to fuck just for the body count and ego.

It’s Always One-Sided!!!

This is a sad scenario but very true in many cases. You’re engaging in sex and after they get their climax you’re left without one. If a guy is into you he’s going to put the same amount of time into pleasing you also. If it took you over 20 minutes to get that motherfucka to blow. You better get your end of the bargain. If it’s only one-sided then you better make sure you see the facts. He’s not into you and he’s definitely using you for sex.

On the flip side, he may be the most romantic person in bed. He may be the one to help you climax before he gets closed to it. After the sex, he could go right back to being distant and disinterested. If a guy only wants to hang out with you for sex then you need to value yourself more. Your body should be treated like gold, not dirt.

You have to have standards and allowing somebody to use your body is sad. I will say we’ve all been used before by somebody. I don’t care how much game you think you got. You have been played before, so we all can take this L!



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According To Anthony

Stop Lying To Yourself! That Man Don’t Love You!




How many of us have stayed in relationships that we knew we should have ended moons ago?

I know for a fact I’ve held onto relationships that had already been over and I was lying to myself and hoping that things would change.

The problem is nothing changes and then we’re forced to be confronted with the reality which we still continue to deny.

One thing about reality is the fact that no matter how hard you lie to yourself — the proof will always be in front of your face.

Holding onto things that serve us no purpose only keeps us stuck in our own misery.

How many people you’ve known that stayed in bad relationships and everybody else knew what the tea was in their relationship? They keep making excuses, hiding the facts, pretending and acting as if everything is okay.

There’s no worse imprisonment than to be a hostage in your own mind about your own fucked up relationship. It can’t get any worse than that and a lot of us were there and we’ve played that role too many times.

Love will have you shattered and still picking up the pieces trying to put a broken glass heart back together.

You can lie to yourself but the truth will always hurt if you don’t accept the facts for what it is. It’s not going to hurt as bad if you face it. The more you run from the truth the more painful your journey will be.

I’ve seen people get STDs, walked in their home to witness strangers in their bed, received threats from random people over the person they claim they love. What do you get out of being with a person who doesn’t value you, let alone care about your well being?

In Case If You Missed It!  Fuck Sex: Can I Share With You, What I Got On My Mind?

How are you going to fight for somebody that won’t fight for you?

Stop lying to yourself and face the fact that this man is no longer the dream man you’ve once met. We fall in love expecting forever with people who were only meant to be in our life temporarily if at all.

You can’t force a man to love you if he doesn’t even love himself. A lot of us meet these damaged souls and we think we can heal them and love them. After it’s said and done we end up being the ones who need the most healing. He’s going to leave you more damaged than what he brought into the relationship.

The more you forgive a person who not trying to change makes you the fool. Not a fool who isn’t wise enough to do better — but a fool who can’t see the facts as they are laid out before you.

We have to take responsibility behind the actions which we accept, tolerate and embrace. You’re abusing yourself every time you go back to that tormented soul. You can’t allow people to break your spirit because they are already broken. Hurt people hurt people, but you don’t have to be the one to accept their hurt as your own.

I know we often get caught up on the good side of the man and the good things he’s done in the past. That’s just a faded memory. If he was a good man then he wouldn’t have changed or switched upon you.

In Case If You Missed It!  Stop Lying To Yourself! That Man Don’t Love You!

No man will love you and then bring you pain willingly unless there is a bigger and deeper issue which he needs healing or help for.

Love yourself by getting out of any dysfunctional relationship. Because the longer you stay the more damage you’re causing on yourself. The best way you can save yourself is by not staying. If he doesn’t love you then let him go. Don’t try to stick around or get him to love you. If the love is gone it’s gone for good.



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According To Anthony

I’m Getting Mine Before You Get Yours!




The greatest advice any gay man has ever given me “get yours before they get theirs or you won’t get anything in return at all!” This is a lesson that I didn’t appreciate until I saw it for myself.

How many of you reading this ever been in a situation where you have made a man climax but he didn’t do the same for you? He found any and every excuse for why he couldn’t help you get yours too.

It could be an ex-lover or just a random fuck. You did everything to please them and they dropped the ball!

Stop fulfilling other people’s needs and start fulfilling your own.

Meaning: you can still please somebody but make sure you get yours too.

I would rather get mine first than last. I don’t care what nobody says. If a man is benefiting from my sex skills, then I better be getting one-off too.

Communication isn’t enough because I’ve been with guys who talked a good ass game — but couldn’t deliver their promises.

These guys will tell you any and everything to get theirs but will leave you disappointed when you expect the same in return.

We are the ones that fulfill our sexual duties and promises. Some of us talk big shit about the bedroom and also put in that work to back it up. Sadly it is the ones who put in that work that don’t benefit from it. These guys are lazy as fuck in bed as if it’s a prize to experience them.

In Case If You Missed It!  Fuck Sex: Can I Share With You, What I Got On My Mind?

The shit should always be 50/50. If I’m fucking with you, then I’m expecting you to give me the same effort I’m giving you. I’m nobody’s quickie. If I decide to break my celibacy tomorrow, it will be with the right type of man.

Too many guys requesting a whole lot from others but slacking when it comes to their performance in the bedroom. If that dick or ass ain’t doing the job then the problem is you.

Sex is supposed to be enjoyable but if it’s more work than play then I don’t want it. Some of you gotta learn how to be selfish with selfish ass men. I don’t care if he did anything good during foreplay.

The moment it’s time for that big climax we both should be able to reach that peak! There is no I’m getting mine and you left to figure out how to get yours on your own. Don’t get me started on the guys that put in little effort to please you. Like are you fucking kidding me?

No more part-time pleasers, please! If you not here for the enjoyment of both of us then I don’t want any of it.



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