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Hyper-Masculinity: A Closeted Gay Man’s Mask!

blackbird17k

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Hyper-masculinity is truly a closeted Gay man’s mask.

The mask is something they can put on but are too afraid to remove and reveal their identity.

I don’t judge these men because we don’t always know the spectrum of reasons these men live this way. I think it’s safe to say their choices prevents them from living in their truth.

Most of us view down low men and the DL culture as a disgrace to the community. These men are not honest about who they are and what they stand for but do we judge them or the root of the problem?

Is it okay for a man to lie and deceive his wife, girlfriend, significant other? No! It’s never okay for a person to be dishonest when it comes to their relationships. Don’t shit where you eat! This expression is truly the golden rule. You can’t be in a committed relationship if you not willing to commit to that one and only person.

If you hide behind your hyper-masculinity and you don’t have a partner, then do as you please. The problem for me like many others is seeing Black women in these bad predicaments and often their health is on the line.

Living a double life is truly like living a lie. You can’t please yourself and expect for your pleasures not to be exposed.

The truth of the matter is that some of these men are struggling with their identity. They sometimes living a double life because they don’t know how to separate their desires from their responsibilities. You want to have your cake and eat it too. The sad reality behind this mentality is the fact most of these men end up with their faces covered in icing and a complete mess.

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When these men end up exposed they end up losing everything and sometimes their damn minds. For me, I would never expose somebody’s secret, habit or anything which they withhold to themselves. I don’t feel like it’s my place to snatch off a man’s mask of hyper-masculinity to prove a point. It solves nothing!

The issue I have with Gay men who do this is the fact you’re not fixing the problem. Exposing a man in the closet will not clean out his closet and dirt laundry. You are destroying his livelihood and possibly your own. 

We have to remember the dangers of putting somebody else’s business out there in these streets. If a man isn’t living right, you can either continue messing with him or let him go find somebody else. You do not have the RIGHT to expose somebody else’s lifestyle or choices. What somebody does is their free will. Does it make it right? No, it doesn’t but two wrongs don’t either.

We need our DL men to remove those chains of fear and in the coming years embrace their truth. You don’t have to reveal to the world who you are and what you love to do in the privacy of your home or behind closed doors. At least be man enough to protect those who do not know or are unaware of the choices you make in secret. Those are the innocent ones. They deserve answers. They deserve to know the truth!

If these men stop hiding behind their masks, then maybe this will help lower the HIV statistics within the Black community. Our Black sisters do not deserve it and neither do we, but in order for us to stop allowing these infections to occur we have to step up. Exposing these men will not stop them. If anything, it’s promoting the behavior of hiding and living a double life. We have to once again, get to the ROOT of the problem.

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We already know why most of these men feel the need to hide their truth and sexuality. We already know, so I don’t feel like I need to address the obvious reasons for it.

While we can point the fingers at the community for wanting to keep these men on the hush-hush. We have to take responsibility for our actions as well for playing a part in the situation of bashing and cooperating with them. 

We may not understand why a person be in-denial about their sexuality or live a double life but we have to stop judging these men. The more we judge them the more masks these men are disguising themselves behind. For us to strip down these protected shields we have to embrace them. With change will bring forth a deeper understanding. Stop viewing their lifestyles from one way of thinking or lack of understanding and open your mind to the broader picture.

Down low men are no better or worse than the average Gay man. These men may make poor choices but they also have testimonies as well. Some things we can relate on and others we simply won’t understand.

Regardless of our similarities or differences we all play a part in the LGBTQ+ community.


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I write what I love and share what my little golden heart desires! 👨🏾‍💻 Black Gay Writer, Author, Creative Creator. Future Filmmaker, Television Producer and Mogul In The Making!

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He’s Not Your Man! He’s Everybody’s Man Including Your Ex’s!

blackbird17k

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I can’t stand when people wanna flash and flaunt their relationships when everybody knows the guy ain’t shit.

I’m not talking about the real authentic couples, I’m speaking about the couples who always in some mess.

If you know every and anybody has been with your man, then that’s not your man.

I’m sorry to put it to you like that… unfortunately, too many people claiming ownership over men who ain’t even theirs half the time.

You can’t be on and off with somebody and expect to be the only one he’s laying with or seeing period.

I know it sounds raw, but that’s the truth.

Most couples who are breaking up only to make up just for you to end up getting played out is silly to me.

For me, if we on and off then we not solving anything by staying together.

And more than likely you dipping your dack in somebody else.

I have a hard time believing somebody in a on and off relationship ain’t sliding through somebody else’s bedroom or front door.

These Gays out here trying to hang on, keep around or shelter a man.

If he’s not happy then let him go.

You can’t sit around thinking that you get special treatment that millions of other Gays don’t get.

Forcing something that isn’t there becomes problematic no matter how you try to pretend that shit is fine, when we all know it’s not.

They going to continue to do you wrong while you try to relive a memory that is no longer here for you to relive. Some things are better left done then trying to redo and recreate.

You know he’s not faithful and everyone around you knows this, so why you still lying to yourself?

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Why can’t you see that the man you got ain’t your man sus?

That man belongs to everybody! He’s not trying to be limited to just you.

Is what you should say to him every time he up in your face smiling and trying to sling that dack your way.

Some of these men fight and argue just so they can leave and do their dirt.

You still haven’t caught on yet, sus?

Some of you will stay with a man that ain’t good just to say you got a man. You’ll allow him to damn near do anything and everything foul to you, while you do nothing about it.

That mentality of having half of a man is toxic for many of you.

Instead of moving on and finding better you rather stay and “work it out” when there’s nothing left to work on.

Sometimes the work is done and over and you both still can’t walk away and move on. It’s all about growth and if a person isn’t growing with you, then you stuck with a dud.


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Fellas: Do A Fact Check On These Men!

blackbird17k

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After my recent failed attempts with dating within the last year, I have started fact checking shit more than ever before…

WAIT ON IT…

We about to dive deep!

So let’s get deeper!

I mean, I’m the type to investigate that ass to the fullest!

I wanna know everything about you even the shit you don’t want me to know.

Too many guys out here are playing games especially online.

They will tell you any and everything and leave out the fact that none of it is factual.

Some shit these men say is pure bullshit and will have you questioning yourself.

Some of Y’all are quick to believe everything these men tell you. 

I had a guy lie to me about his entire life!!!

I’ve had guys lie about their status to their past dating history.

I’ve had men lie about having a job only to find out they were street hustling and escorting for TINA and Molly… 

What’s even worse is the fact I had an ex lie about having a baby on me!

I think another [ex] who lied about being in the hospital with food poison when he was really laid up in somebody else’s bed tops them all for me!

But a lie is a lie and a liar ain’t never ashamed to mislead anyone.

Some of these men (I take that back) most of these guys are professional liars.

They have been lying since day one!

They were conditioned to lie about their sexuality and even worse when it comes to their daily lives everything just filled with lies and fairytales.

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To add to the list of lies: They lie about their sexual position, their intentions and even their dack size!

There’s no telling what’s about to come out of a man’s mouth when he speaks to you. Especially when he’s been a liar all his life, that’s all he knows.

Fact check is important!

I like investigating and doing my little investigation on these men.

I check social media accounts even going as far to check in with your mammy and ex!

You gotta get a full ass report on these men out here otherwise they will straight up use you dry and drain you out.

We can’t sit back and trust everything a man tells us especially not off no dating app. If you meeting guys online, take every and anything they say with a grain of salt!

Everything he says can’t be all true even the most honest guys keeping something from you.

Some may say actions speak louder than words but even in this day and age people can show you one thing but mean something else. You can believe you in a whole ass relationship and really find yourself being played!

Trust all things know while believing nothing you hear without the PROOF!

FACT CHECK HIS ASS! FELLAS! 


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Y’all Be Giving Off Bottom Teas But Will Top Em All Down!

blackbird17k

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Looks are deceiving so never get caught up on what looks a certain way because behind a closed door they may surprise you.

I love pretty boys who can give you that feminine energy while being able to buss down booty with no fucks to give.

Yeah, I said it. I like a “feminine” sexy guy who can put on that bottom look that so many of you criticize and he can slang the dack good.

Y’all be sleeping in the good dack because Ya’ll be chasing “masculine” or “straight-acting” ass men. Meanwhile, the ones who got the best dack be the queen’s Ya’ll always shading down!

For me, if it comes down to getting the dack, I want me a man who can handle the ass. I don’t care for a man I can just stare at and show off as a trophy.

Y’all really out here sleeping on some good ass wood. Trust me!

I remember like yesterday when I let my first “bottom” topped me!

Meanwhile Ya’ll with these tops who can’t even keep it up…

Whatever works for you but for me, I’m open minded and the more I explore my options the better my encounters get! Don’t believe me? Try something you’ve never tried and tell me it ain’t good after you experience it on more than one occasion.

I don’t care to hear about lesbian sex or you ain’t letting them climb your back. When a man got good dack, he got good dack! Get out of the looks department and peep out his stroke game!


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