My ex is HIV-Positive, and I remember everybody telling me why I should not date him. First, I have always protected myself. I have remained HIV-Negative to this day. I didn’t judge him based on the fact he was HIV-Positive. I was in love with him and who he was as a person not his status.
Many Black gay men are quick to dismiss the idea of dating an HIV-Positive man. Half of thise same guys more than likely have slept with one unknowingly and continuing to do so. I’ve known guys who were positive and kept their status a secret from their sexual partners. About 95% of them lied and claimed they were in-fact, negative. It’s not right, but we have to take our sexual health more serious. A person can claim anything, but without the actual current paperwork, there’s no proof or evidence of their claims.
How many of you have gotten tested with your sexual partners before having protected or unprotected sex?
Not too many, and in a majority of situations we’re too horny and aroused to care. At least, I would hope you gentlemen use protection because I know that’s mandatory for me. I made it VERY clear to my ex and all of my sexual partners. I needed him to protect me first and foremost and he kept his word.
It’s hard for me to listen to gay men hate and discriminate against HIV-Positive men. Most of them put themselves at risk by trusting what men say and not actual proof before engaging in intimacy. The stigma of HIV is negative, but these men still deserve to have love.
I reached out to some guys in the community as I always do for Gays Speaking Out to understand how they may feel about dating an HIV-Positive man.
I mean, I wouldn’t mind. – Andrew 18, Florida
Me personally, naw. – Ron 22, Kansas
Maybe, and I know I can’t get it from him as long as he’s taking his meds. – Bobby 19, New York
Yes. I have, and I’m also HIV-Positive. – Andrew 30, California
It depends on how the chemistry is going between us and how I feel about him. – Shawn 20, Mississippi
If I like him then yeah. – Robert 19, Michigan
Hmm. That’s difficult. It will take some serious research. I have to first develop a friendship. Yea, there would have to be a prior friendship or develop before I could date someone who is positive. – Kelz 21, New Jersey
Hey, that’s a hard question to answer. I know there are ways to prevent it from spreading, so I feel like it all depends. – Eugene 20, South Carolina
[Disclaimer: I change Names And Locations to protect their identities.]
I think today gay men are more open-minded compared to maybe, ten years ago. We have a lot of work to do to educate more individuals about the human immunodeficiency virus. People focus too much on the sexual aspect of catching it. Finding out you are HIV-Positive should not prevent a person from still wanting to love you and it won’t!
I think the stigma of being positive and growing old and lonely is tired and lateeeee. I wish people stop READING people about their status. The ignorance in the community is very real and live and direct.
This post can become a novel based on this topic, and I hope you guys take something from this article. Research HIV and grow to know those who is infected by it. Develop an open mind when it comes to dating or even intimacy. You may never know who is not being honest about their condition. Make certain you protect yourself.
This is something I’ve always done, and I’m not sure if you think like this, but I see everybody as HIV-Positive. I view every man the same, and I assume that they are Positive. We don’t know, and the best measure we can take to find out is getting tested together. You can’t look at a guy and assume he’s Negative even if he tells you he’s HIV-Negative. If he can offer paperwork, then take that too but understand that we’re all at risk. Any man you meet might be HIV-Positive. Get to know him for him.