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Falling In Love With Him Or The Idea Of Having “HIM” ?




How many of you be falling in love with him or just the idea of having him?

It’s okay to admit if you’ve been in this position. Some of you be falling in love for all the wrong reasons.

I gotta tell the truth and shame the debil…

A lot of you find yourself being in these one-sided relationships which aren’t healthy at all. You view these men as trophies more than actual partners. They give you the world and you only give what you can in order to feel fulfilled in the relationship.

You feel validated by saying you with them more than their actual presence in your life.

The fact that some of you feel the need to be with somebody for the title or the image of being in a relationship is ass-backward. I say that with love and compassion.

I don’t understand the mentality a person has to date for the purpose of just having a boyfriend but not for love itself.

I like to build a relationship with a person. It takes time to build an actual relationship. It doesn’t happen overnight. Building trust and bonds with people require a lot of connection and closeness.

Love comes with many challenges and emotions. If you in love just to feel good then you got a huge misunderstanding about what love truly means. Love will have you in pain just as much as love will shield you from pain! Love comes strong and may have you questioning if you want it at times. But love should never be one dimensional. Love should never be empty it should always have you feeling full.

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If you only with a man to fill a void or to heal a wound then let him free. You only going to do more harm to him than good. Why did I say that? I say that because once you feel like they ain’t enough you going to go searching for somebody new.

When a person is empty, broken, in need of love but unable to love themselves they search high and low for it. Their need for love isn’t the same as our need for it. They want you to love them, for them. Instead of loving themselves they need you to do it. They need you to give them validation and value and worth.

When a person feels insecure they can feel secured only by having that love from you. When they feel empty they only feel full by you giving them attention and fulfilling their needs only. In most cases, it’s a one-sided relationship because the love you give, they are often unable to return it. You find yourself giving more and more and they only take from you.

Have any of you ever been with a person and it was beyond amazing. He was all of the man you’ve ever wanted or needed but it ended just as fast as it got started. All of a sudden he’s not returning your calls or texting or seeing you as often? He went completely ghost and you left wondering how the fuck did it happen so fast and end just as fast?

Those are the type of men who only come into your life for a reason, a season or for a short time purpose. They either trying to get over an ex and make you a rebound, trying to find confidence in themselves, etc. there’s always a reason why these men jump in love only to opt-out when you least expect it.

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A lot of people are in one-sided relationships and don’t even know it. I rather have no man than half of a man. For me, if you only with me for the look of it all then, to be honest, I’m only playing myself. If you displaying signs of loving the idea of having me more than actually being with me, then I’m concerned. We have a problem Houston!

We can’t get caught up on the little cute shit these guys do. They going to showcase everything that a relationship needs to pull you in. Once they have you, then they hold on as long as possible before getting bored and finding someone new.

These people are never single because they can’t stand the idea of being with themselves and alone. So they go from relationship to relationship and it’s often transparent situations. You can see through it all. If you talk to them they got a long dating history. I mean a long rap sheet of men and most of those relationships were short term.

Don’t allow these men to use you and spit you out after they tired or bored with you. Some of these guys will never stay or build long term relationships because they are not in it for all the right reasons. They only with some of these men for their own purpose and needs. It’s all about them and if you not satisfying them don’t expect for them to stick around for long.

I hope you guys take heed of what I’m saying on this post. Somebody needed this confirmation this morning! If you feel like he’s not putting in the same amount of work in the relationship then maybe you need to evaluate the situation.

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Maybe he just loves the idea of you but not too much invested or in love with you.



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Benefits And Disadvantages Of Long Distance Gay Relationships




Long-distance relationships aren’t as complicated or even as bad as most gay men make them out to be.

I’ve had my share of long-distance relationships and I have to say I’ve met some of the best men from all walks of life.

Regardless if you’re a hundred miles apart or even a thousand. Chemistry is chemistry and a connection for some people just comes naturally regardless of how close in proximity or how far apart you are from him.

So I hope this article open you guys up to the potential chance of trying long-distance romance. You may live here on the east coast and your dream man may live on the west coast or in the south. You both may just live a state away from each other. Long-distance can be classified in many ways.

You should never allow distance to prevent you from making connections with people and I’ll explain more about that further into this post.

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Let’s start off with the actual benefits of dating a person miles and miles away from you.

Time Will Show All And Tell You Enough

The truth is the fact that time will show you everything you’ll want to know about this person. Everything from their quirks to their temper or true intentions.

We often don’t get to see deeper into situations when we’re always in a person’s face. You may be mesmerized by their charisma or looks in person vs online your forced to get to know the person through communication more than a physical connection.

I think dating online often helps a person to develop a radar to the bullshit and lies. You’re able to look deeper into a person beyond just the typical shit. They’re forced to show their true colors eventually. I know some people are truly sociopaths and they can present their representative for long periods of time. But in most cases, transparency is clear to see. You’ll eventually be able to see through their BS or facade.

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When it comes to online and long-distance dating you can read on things cause you can document the shit they say. Which is good cause you can look back and compare shit they say through text vs in person which tends to often go over your head or in one ear and out the other.

Planning Future Goals And Being Able To Connect Deeper

I don’t care what nobody says about online dating or long-distance relationships, the relationship is forced to depend on communication.

In my opinion, there’s no deeper connection than a couple that is forced to communicate to last vs a couple who don’t know how to communicate. You will definitely need strong communication to create a solid overall relationship.

This helps with an emotional connection. Being emotionally connected to a person is the best way of securing the connection between yourself and him.

I’ll also throw in the fact that a long-distance relationship gives you time to plan and build relationship goals together. I think couples who meet in person tend to take a lot of things for granted that couples who meet through online dating and long-distance relationships cherish the most. When you are far away from a person you appreciate everything including the small stuff like planning stuff together. Every moment tends to count.

The Relationship Won’t Be Based On Sex Alone!

The good factor in being in a long-distance relationship is the fact you won’t last off of lust and sexual chemistry alone. I don’t care how bad you want them sexually. Sex won’t be enough to manage and maintain a long-distance relationship because everything else will not sustain the challenges of long-distance relationships.

I know we come across guys online with phat asses and big dicks that we are wishing we could have near us. But the truth is you won’t have much substance with a person long enough to make it happen. I mean in that case, you’ll know if you just a piece of dick or ass if he’s only focused on seeing you for sex and planning a trip just to buss you down vice versa.

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Decipher The Truth From The Lies!

Men will lie about the dumbest shit like job occupation, funds, and savings, relationship status, etc.

I’ve dealt with guys who told me they were single but while being with me were still with their ex or another guy that lived near them. I have been played and discovered some mistruths from men I dated in long-distance situations.

Of course, you don’t want to trust too easy even though you forced to build a relationship off of trust in long-distance situations. The truth is you should never depend on the relationship and I’ll speak about that next.

Don’t Depend On The Relationship But Don’t Be Doubtful

The honest truth is the fact you don’t know how the relationship will turn out. Yeah, some people have been able to successfully date long-distance but others not so much. Dating long distance is a game of Russian Roulette. You playing blindly and you just hoping not to get burned in the situation.

There have been times when I was used, lied to, mislead and wasted time and energy. But you should never allow that to stop you from dating or finding a connection with somebody outside of your city or state. If anything you need to be cautious and vigilant.

Never give people money right away and do not take wired funds from scammers. Never give your personal information or location to people. Being long-distance does not mean you’re safe or protected. You still need to be concerned about the security of your privacy and safety. You have to still treat these people the same as the guys you meet at a local bar.

If things don’t work out move on. It’s a risk to take but that’s why you should build trust before a relationship when dating online.

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Know When To Walk Away If Things Aren’t Progressing For You!

One strong piece of advice I would give anybody on the disadvantages of long-distance relationships is to walk away if it’s not working. Do not stay due to time spent, etc. you’ll lose more time staying with this person if you don’t end things at the right time.

Sometimes long-distance relationships become too overwhelming or problematic. If you find yourself miserable or completely unhappy then know when to walk away.

Don’t be afraid to express how you feel cause it’s unfair to the other person if you remain in something that isn’t working for you.

Long-distance relationships require a lot of time and energy to survive. If you don’t know how to manage or build a solid bond or connection then call it quits. Save yourself the trouble of being with somebody if they do nothing for you anymore. It’s going to hurt but it’s what’s best for you.

Overall long-distance relationships are fun if both parties are equally invested into the relationship. You can’t be half in and not sure if it’s for you. Long-distance relationships require a lot of compromises and sacrifices. It’s not for the faint of heart. Long-distance relationships can be a blessing or a curse depending on your situation. The best thing to do is to know the person you are committing to with a clear understanding of what you want with them.

Plans and goals are a must! You have to be secured and confident in the relationship lasting otherwise you will fail terribly at long-distance relationships. Everybody can’t handle what comes with the long-distance and it’s very demanding and scary at the same time.

I honestly poured my soul into this post so I hope you guys can relate to it or have a better understanding of long-distance relationships work. Don’t be afraid to share your own experiences in the comment whether if it’s good, bad or ugly situations.



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Dear Gays | Claim Your Single-hood And Don’t Be Pressured Into A Relationship!




Dear all tops, bottoms and you half time versatile ass gays! I got a message for all of you including you lurking ass DL men and confused ass trade!

Claim your single-hood and don’t ever be pressured into a relationship!

I literally had to learn this the hard way and even to this very day I still have to put these men in check.

One thing about me is the fact, I love my freedom.

Yeah being single sucks but I love the idea of being able to talk to whomever I want with the option of doing so…

But I will not entertain, get involved with or connect to a person who wants to pressure me into a relationship that I just don’t want to be in.

Now I know it’s important to make things be known or clear enough for other people to understand up front.

Whether if you telling them “we are not official” or subliminally giving him clear hints that you are not TOGETHER!

But allowing somebody to pressure you into something is a problem and a lot of gay men tend to do this shit.

Please do not claim me unless I make it known that we are in fact an item!

Please do not stalk or lurk my apps or social media!

I am not focused on you and I don’t care if I sent you some cute emojis and conversed with you often.

Please respect my boundaries! Also understand if there is no mutual agreement between us about a relationship then we not in a relationship!

I don’t care if I liked you, was interested in you, fucked you, flirted with you.

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Do not claim me if I am not claiming you in any way.

I like my relationships to be organic.

I feel like if we have chemistry and we just naturally connect and speak on the possible potential between us, then cool.

But some of you gay men want to claim people and get mad when you not being claimed back.

Like sir, I never said I was official with you and just cause we talk doesn’t mean we together.

I need all my gays reading this article to respect these men’s boundaries.

Know your position and place and if he chooses to go further than cool but if not, be chill. Don’t overdo it!

I know we meet guys and we like them and don’t want anybody else to come to snatch them up.

But trust me if he wants you, you will be the one he ends up with regardless Chile!

If somebody happens to grab his attention more than you then you were never his focus, to begin with. He never had the intention of settling down with you.

Fellas claim your single-hood and don’t let these men force themselves into your life or a relationship that you never claimed of wanting or needing.

Know yourself and never allow a man to dictate or force anything on you.

That’s y’all lesson for today! And if you one of the men I’m speaking about stop doing this shit! You can’t force a person into a relationship and if they don’t want it then move on to somebody, who will!

In Case If You Missed It!  Dear Gays | Claim Your Single-hood And Don’t Be Pressured Into A Relationship!

Some of you drive y’all selves crazy behind these men. It’s not worth it bruh! Suh let it go!



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Dear Gays | Don’t Change Yourself For Him After Finding Love!




How many times do we often get into a relationship and notice ourselves acting different or no longer doing what interests us?

Whether if you that guy posting thirst trap photos on Instagram, or booty twerking videos on snapchat.

We often get into relationships and lose ourselves or altogether stop doing what makes us happy.

But I want you guys to know that a relationship isn’t your be all end all. Your partner is supposed to meet you halfway, where you at. Which means your hobbies, career, goals, purpose should never change for him.

And if you feel pressured to alter or change your life for him then it’s trouble from the jump!

A lot of gay men get into relationships and they allow these men to alter their world and universe all in the name of love.

Big mistake but I’m sure you knew this going into the relationship.

Why should we stop doing the things we like to do just because we’re in a relationship.

You know what I love is seeing porn stars who get into relationships but don’t stop fucking on camera. The compromise is real and it’s needed!

Shit, if they get into a relationship with a person who doesn’t want them to do porn any more than I won’t have any porn to get one off too!

I know that’s a horrible comparison but it makes sense because it’s no different from the nudes on Snapchat or the thirst trap models on Instagram.

I know nobody wants their man naked online or doing porn. But shit that’s how you met him more than likely and you knew about it!

In Case If You Missed It!  Dear Gays | Don’t Change Yourself For Him After Finding Love!

You can’t be selfish like that… That ass and dick should still be available online.

On a serious note: we still want to see that shit.

Keep that same energy, Bruh!

I don’t care if you in love or not. You better continue to do what makes you happy and a relationship should not change that.

It doesn’t matter what the situation is if you meet him and he’s a stripper let him do him. Y’all wanna get with these men and try to change everything to keep them for yourself.

But like Cookie Tookie said! Get off that dick you can’t have all these dicks out here!

Y’all stop allowing these men to change your entire existence! Then when he’s gone you left trying to pick up the pieces and find yourself again.



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