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Dear Black Gay Men

Dear White Gay Men, We Are Not Your Thug Fetish!

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A pet peeve of mine is when a caucasian gay man thinks he can approach me to be my “sex slave.”

Yes, you read that right!

I find it so distasteful and downright prejudice, and in a way, I view it as them seeing me as a racial stereotype. When you make ignorant assumptions based off of the color of my skin and assume I’ll play a “thug” role in the bedroom, then we have a problem.

I am not a thug, and I would never carry myself that way for your amusement or sexual perk. I would never degrade myself for you, him, or the guy with the sexy body that only desires me as a sexual fetish.

There are several adult companies, who have wrongfully stereotyped gay men of color on film. I blame cocodorms and those older companies for this bullshit. Now we have sites like ThugHunter and Gay Patrol serving up racist, pornographic dialogue and content to thousands of loyal customers.

I don’t care how big of a check these companies cash out. There is no amount of money in the world that would allow me to tolerate that level of disrespect.

How dare you sell out your people for a cheap ass happy meal and 50 fucking dollars? Is the money worth your image like that? What about your self-esteem? Shit, are you even able to look at yourself after doing the scenes? How can you look your parents and grandparents in the face after knowing you allowed a white man on film to call you a black fuck? How can you let a man identify you as nothing more than a negro sucking his genitals? Is that cheap spot on the hall of fame for coons worth it?

You don’t even care because you don’t even acknowledge those who came before you. You live in your little world trying to be accepted while allowing somebody to degrade you at the same time. You ain’t shit, and you know it!

The video comments on MyVidster are complete race war bait waiting to happen. They post these videos, with this misleading head titles to start fights in the comments between white and black gay men. We shouldn’t have to argue or state the obvious about these videos. They represent racism in plain sight. What bothers me is the fact that people have the nerve to defend the content and the providers who offer their services filled with racism. It doesn’t matter if it is roleplaying or not. They wouldn’t treat a damn dog that way. Why is it okay to see these men of color treated like that in these interracial scenes?

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This is nothing more than modern day slavery depicted in porn. You have white officers threatening to “shoot his black ass down?” Really? Who’s writing the scripts over there at these gay porn studios? The damn fool sat there and allowed for those men to call him all sorts of black fucks and all this other nonsense that I would hate to remember overhearing in the video.

I’m not impressed at all, and in fact, I’m so disgusted that I can’t even blame them because if any of those men of color had any fucking pride, they wouldn’t allow anybody in that scene to disrespect them.

I don’t care if they were paid millions of dollars or cheap ass chunk of 200. My question to them would be, is it worth it for you to basically spit in the faces of your ancestors? The fact that you would allow a man of any race to speak to you like you wasn’t even shit, to begin with, fucks me up inside.

Then on top of that, you allowed him to do it for a damn porno that will forever be on the internet.

They will FOREVER take that L, and that isn’t some shit you can wash off like the cum off your face. The L is permanent, and I hope their relatives found out about these videos as well.

GAY STUDIO PRODUCERS AND DIRECTORS NEED TO DO BETTER! The moment, I saw that caucasian man call that stupid ass man of color a “black ass” on camera, I knew the people behind the scenes wasn’t shit either.

They are only seeking ratings and money and even if they allowed that black man to make an ass of himself on camera they didn’t give any fucks. That scene made me want to regurgitate. I have never seen something as degrading and disrespectful until I came across that very scene and a few other ones as well.

These money making machines sit back and make millions off of our images, likeness, and performance on camera. Yes, there are THUGS within the African-American community. Why can’t they display Caucasian stereotypes on film? You don’t see those stereotypes in these stupid ass porn flicks, why is that? Well, it’s quite apparent why they wouldn’t make a mockery out of their own race. On the other hand, you have a black man basically in “blackface” for the entertainment of their loyal customers.

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They pay these men pennies while they sit back and laugh at these cum face stupid fucks. I hope they feel good lowering themselves on camera like that. I hope they eat well after filming those scenes. I hope that little money they make is enough to buy them some self-respect after filming this type of shit. It wouldn’t be enough to clear out their damn conscious though but then again, do they even have a fucking conscious?

Now after reading all of that let me make this very fucking clear. I have nothing against interracial pornography. I’ve had my share of good times watching them. My issue comes to play when a black man can sit on camera and allow somebody to degrade him for money. No amount of money should let you take that type of abuse. I don’t care what it is that shit is not acceptable.

Let’s not sit here and act like racism in porn does not exist. What also bothers me is the fact these customers of this shit feels like it’s okay for them to come at me, the same way.

Those fools over there may allow all of that verbal abuse and racist venom being thrown at them.

I will never let anybody of any race to disrespect me or call me out of my name during or outside of sex. They may not outright call us the N-word, but calling him a “black fuck” and “you black ass” is still in the same way of calling them the N word.

Black on Black porn isn’t any better. These “PAID PLAY THUGS” do the most… The portrayal of the black man in porn is downright disgusting. Yeah, it’s a FANTASY but at whose expense? The same stereotypical image used in these porn videos are giving people validation to use it as well. Why the fuck would I want to be another man’s sex slave master? What type of shit is that?

No, this post not directed at ALL white gay men. There are some respectful lovely caucasian gay men out there, and I have met many of them. My problem is with those who want to use the stereotypes, and also role-playing these racist ass “stereotypes” on film or in private.

You will forever be viewed, as the coon on a porn set. That’s the sad part that these men don’t even care about their reputation, let alone the shame they bring to their ancestors, all for the mighty dollar.

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Disclaimer: I am not bashing black gay porn stars, who do interracial porn. This is only for the coons who do these scenes and allow the other performers to degrade them. I REPEAT! This is not an anti-interracial gay porn post, nor am I bashing BLACK GAY MEN who do INTERRACIAL PORN. This post is based on a scene I recently came across. The dialogue bothered me to the point that I felt the need to make this article.

WE ARE NOT YOUR THUG FETISH NOR ARE WE YOUR SEX TOYS. 

Many of us don’t even consider ourselves “thugs” or even want to be seen in that light.

The stereotypes need to end with these damn adult companies. Find a new NICHE! Set up a new STORY FUCKING LINE. We also need for these men of other races to respect us. We are not THUGS, and we all do not CARRY ourselves in that fashion. The majority of us will NOT be your FETISH or SEX SLAVE MASTER.

I don’t want any parts of that ignorant ass shit. People love interracial gay porn, and I do as well. I must say this that there is a difference between interracial porn and downright racist porn. If they want to make a market for racist porn, then that’s on them. Keep that shit from the general viewers online. Some of us do not want to see a Caucasian man calling an African American man all sorts of derogatory terms with nutt on his face. It’s not okay and should not even be allowed. Put that shit on the deep web or one of those hidden sites.

I want to end this post by making this statement. They won’t allow blood, gore, rape, incest on porn which is a good thing, but why allow racism?

FUCK THE GRAMMAR ON THIS ARTICLE! I wanted to speak my mind and let my voice be heard on this matter. I had to vent, and rant and I did just that.

 

UPDATE! I noticed they removed the particular clip I was speaking about. I’m sure if you look up ARMY69 you may come across one of their interracial scenes and overhear him call him all types of derogatory names. This post has over 10k views, so I’m assuming somebody came across this and removed the clips.


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Dear Black Gay Men

“Just Because I F*ck Guys Doesn’t Mean I’m Gay”

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Khalil Wells sets the record straight and lets the gay community know that he’s not gay. Now a lot of you are side-eyeing him, but let me remind you of the reality of the community.

Some men do not describe, connect or even identify themselves as homosexual. It doesn’t matter how many dicks they may take or give to other men of the same sex. These men are no different from those who prefer women but enjoy sexual encounters with men on the side.

WE CAN NOT FORCE SOMEBODY INTO A LEAGUE or COMMUNITY, IN WHICH THEY DO NOT IDENTIFY THEMSELVES AS BEING APART OF PERIOD POINT BLANK.

I get it, many of you may not understand sexuality, but it’s pretty diverse to the point that everything can be fluid without any actual attachment. There is no one set rule when it comes to SEX.

Some of you do know there is a difference between sexual identification and actual sex?

There are plenty of men who identify as heterosexual but may engage with other men.

I REPEAT!

There are plenty of men who identify as heterosexual but may engage with other men.

We need to stop forcing people into a box for one strict sexual orientation which they do not want to choose for themselves. They do not have to be FORCED to conform to your expectations when it comes to their sexual identity. 

I WILL LET THAT PROCESS FOR SOME OF YOU! 

You may call him gay all day long but if the man is saying he’s not gay leave it alone. Who am I or anybody else to force a title on somebody? That’s the problem! We are so quick to push these titles and labels on people who do not identify with that particular label or title.

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This goes hand in hand with sexual positioning. You may call me a fem bottom just because my mannerisms is one way doesn’t mean I identify as being feminine or a bottom. We want to diagnose people, but we fail to realize there’s no limit or set rule that indicates that one can’t explore their options. This man may have had sex for whatever reason with other men. Who am I to judge him and try to force him to identify with something that clearly doesn’t represent him.

We have the freedom to identify as whatever we choose to identify with. If I wanted to say I’m a masculine man and I may not appear masculine, then that’s my choice. If you decide to identify as a feminine gay man, but all the bottoms of the sea want you to be a top, then who they to tell you who to be is?

Stop placing people in these boxes and labeling them all sorts of shit. If a person tells you, no I do not identify with this particular lifestyle or sexuality, then allow them that right of choice. Pointing out how many bottoms of the sea he has smashed (vice versa) won’t change his mindset or mentality. Allow this man to express himself however way he identities and also connects with as a human being.

This also can be said for down low men who happen to swing from women to men. There are many down low guys who do not consider themselves “gay” but very much engage in homosexual practices and acts. The only difference is the fact that this guy is well known in the community and most of those DL men aren’t.

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Enough of this label shaming and trying to force people into these labeled sexual boxes. Some people enjoy the act but do not call themselves homosexual. Allow this man to be himself and express his RIGHTS as an individual. A lot of people are legit MAD about this guy clarifying and stating his sexuality.

Okay, so you saw some videos on Pornhub that’s cool. If you don’t know this man in real life, then you don’t know him period. How are you going to tell him how he should identify himself as being when he’s his own person.

I do not know this man, I’ve never heard of him, but I respect his right to identify as straight or bicurious in whatever way he chooses to define his sexuality.

FIN!


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Dear Black Gay Men

“Dating In The Black Gay Community Doesn’t Exist Anymore!”

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Last night, I was having a pretty interesting conversation with a guy from one of my FB groups. We ended up chatting after I left an open-ended question on the page. He responded, and we decided to chat more privately on messenger.

My question in the group was based on other guys experience with dating in the black gay community back in 2008 vs. today, in 2018. As many of you know, there has been a significant change in the dating department for ALL OF US. With new technology and apps dating and discovering ways to date has changed. Some people would argue with the fact that some of these changes have affected a good amount of black gay men.

I would say, everybody’s opinion on this topic is different. I may feel like dating in 2018 is different from 2008, but you may not agree for whatever reason. I think age groups have similarities being that I’m not going to be able to connect to an 18-year-old at 28 about online dating back in 2008 because there’s an age gap. He’s not going to have the same experiences as me when it comes to dating in 2018 vs. 2008. GET MY POINT? 

I will say last night speaking with one of my peers, and I was able to hear from his perspective how his dating life has changed over this the last decade was pretty interesting, to say the least. 

He’s 30 years old, successful brutha with his own businesses and he resides in D.C. He’s been single for over five years now because he doesn’t feel like there’s much of a dating culture anymore in the black gay community.

While I agree with him, I also had to disagree with his opinions on dating apps.

His views were entirely against dating apps and he even claimed that the last app he used was BGCLIVE which is ancient shit (no shade but shade.) 

So with his lack of experience with new dating techniques (online mobile apps), he has closed off a huge possibility of meeting his potential mate since the majority of gay men are accessible online. I’m guessing he still goes to gay clubs to meet guys or bathhouses. NO SHADE. 

He feels like Jack’d, Grindr, POF, Tinder are all complete waste of time and he doesn’t have much time to entertain those type of apps. IN HIS WORDS NOT MINE! 

I am a user of a majority of those apps. I think my experience with dating has also been complicated, but I do feel like they may work for other people.

I don’t think the dating culture within the black gay community is gone. I think the way we date has changed and maybe for some, it hasn’t changed for the better. I speak about these things because I am in the community and I ENGAGE with the community on these issues. A lot of black gay men feel like there’s no point in dating and the only purpose of those apps is only for sex. I get it, and I understand why so many of my peers think this way.

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For younger gay men in their youth, they tend not to see it that way because they’re now coming of age. Back in 2008, many of us (for those who are in my age group) may feel the same way about the BGCLIVE and ADAM4ADAM during that time period. We didn’t have this MAJOR development when it came to Jack’d (which came out around 2010) and all of these newer apps. I think the speed of things makes a lot of people feel unsure of the possibility of having a successful relationship anymore.

Right now everything is microwavable and quick including love, sex, relationships, and fallouts. Everything seems to be forced or often not enough to fulfill the need of those who are seeking MORE than just one thing or another involving dating or relationships. Often we find that most guys are not willing to commit compared to previous years of dating. I would say that’s mainly since sex is more available now than it was in the past.

You can find you a quick piece of ass today online much quicker than you would have been able to find ten years ago. Yeah BGCLIVE was pretty quick, but that required more hoops to jump through. That application wasn’t mobile, so you weren’t able to meet somebody in the same proximity as you can today outside of the comfort of your home.

Could you imagine us trying to text as quickly and effortlessly back in 2008 as we do now on these dating apps today? (LMAO)

I agree with him on the aspect that dating is NOT THE SAME. There is no real standard way of dating today. Most people do not go out to dinner, a movie and maybe a walk in the park. You’re not going to meet guys that are offering to take you out today compared to years ago. I don’t recall ever having a guy offer to take me out on a traditional date. For me, I have never been offered too many dating Opportunites that did not involve sex, his place or even a quick exchange of meaningless texts. His experience may be different because he resides in a separate area. Your experience may be similar to mine or his depending on your own experiences as well. I don’t think we all can agree or disagree when it comes to dating as black gay men.

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I have met plenty of gay men who reside in California who claims to have a fantastic dating life, and they meet guys for dinner, lunch, coffee all the time. While I’ve met some guys here on my coast in NYC or PHILLY, who have never experienced that courtship and wouldn’t be able to tell you what it feels like to experience it.

So due to that, I wouldn’t be able to agree with him on the fact that it doesn’t exist because it does, for some, it may be amazing, and for others, it might be more complicated and rare.

We can’t say dating doesn’t exist because for everybody their dating experiences are different.

Can we say that dating has changed the culture of the black gay community, yes, without a doubt!

Can we say that dating has been altered in a good or negative way? of course, it has been altered.

One thing, I wouldn’t be able to say about it is the fact that it’s nonexistent because it very well does exist, but with all things so does life has its changes. Nothing was ever meant to stay the same and that includes the way we go about dating and finding potential love.

I think his experiences may have been rough to the point that he no longer cares to try anymore. The hardest thing about dating is actually giving up and not continuing to try. The way he spoke about finding love, he comes off as somebody who desires to share that space with another person. I understand his struggle with trying to find the right person, but I don’t think that should stop him.

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We all have been through the fire and back while trying to date. I think dating is a beautiful experience in our community. We need more examples of positive outcomes of black gay couples and more. If we can get rid of the stigma that dating does not exist in the community, we will have a better outcome with dating as a community.

Stop focusing on what you think and get out there and experience it for yourself.

Listening to thousands of black gay men complain about dating won’t change your dating experience. The only way you can fail if you don’t attempt to try to succeed at it.

The best choice is to trust yourself when making the right decisions in the type of men you choose to get to know. There’s no rule book to dating and no predictions of the actual outcome of your dating experience. Stop listening to what people say based off of their own experiences about shit in life. What’s for them is for them and what they lack to have or find doesn’t affect your possibilities at all.

You have to TRY before you can say you failed at it. Fear is what keeps us from achieving some of our most significant opportunities in life. Meeting that man could be easy for you or it may be a struggle. Nothing comes easy, and if it does, then you need to sit back and analyze how you gained it. BLOOP!

Dating has been and always will be a challenge no matter what technology comes along or if it disappears with time. Your experiences cannot be promised if you keep a negative mindset about things. Well, remember what you think is what usually becomes of you.

FIN!


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Dear Black Gay Men

How To Know When He Doesn’t Like You That He Only Likes The D*ck

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Prev1 of 7

I’m going, to be honest, and get straight to the point. I know this may come off as blunt, but I have to be REAL about the shit.

He didn’t like you.

He was never planning on liking you.

He only used you for the dick.

Yes, I said it and vice versa for you bottoms of the sea! 

I can’t lie and say I don’t see many of you getting used because I do. It’s so obvious and apparent, but for many of you, it’s hard to figure out. Shit, I’ve been in the same situation until I had to step outside of it and see the truth.

It’s never easy to come to terms with being used for sex. A lot of gay men are skilled at this shit. It baffles me when people don’t know when somebody is running game on them.

I created a list since so many of my loyal readers love these type of articles. Hints and clues that most of you probably have noticed but ignored or tried to overlook for other reasons.

Don’t take offense by anything on this list. This is from my point of view only.

Prev1 of 7


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