Well, I announced to all my followers on Instagram this year that I identify as bisexual. Apparently no one seems to even believe it exists or want to acknowledge that it is a real sexuality. What made me even more alarmed was that some LGBT+ people also agreed with that statement, “bisexuality is not a real sexuality.” As a young Black man in this society, I realize this will always be a challenge for me because of people’s ignorance or lack of education. I also feel like it’s more socially accepted for a female to identify as bisexual and not get questioned then it is for a male. That’s not even including race. – Nhvada
What has been the biggest struggle for you since coming out as a bisexual man of color?
The biggest struggle for me since coming out as bisexual and being a man of color has been the ignorant comments about me being “confused” or “selfish.”
What made you come out as bisexual? Also, what advice would you give other men who may feel like they are bisexual, but could be unsure how to go about revealing it?
What made me come out as a bisexual man was the urge to educate other boys and girls.
I knew I had a platform to reach a younger audience of people and tell them it is okay to be different.
Me coming out was bigger than me; I felt as though we needed more examples and I will be that example. The advice I would give other men who may be unsure if they are bisexual is to let yourself be free and don’t look back!
I realize it has restricted men from being too feminine. I would also say none of you guys are alone in this amazing journey of self-discovery.
Excellent piece of advice! I think this article will reach those individuals who may need this message the most.
What has been the reaction from family and friends since coming out as bisexual vs. if you had came out as Gay?
Going back to my statement that many people don’t believe in bisexuality. When my family first found out I was a bisexual man, it was very difficult for me because I was a boy.
My family has now come to terms with what I identify as, but now the problem is that they want me to pick a gender to claim. My family doesn’t believe bisexuality is real.
I feel like if I were to come out as Gay it would be different. Because I’m still attracted to females, it confuses them into thinking I’m confused. My family seems to only acknowledge sexuality as “straight” or “Gay.”
Many people already have their minds made up about bisexuality to where it complicates the process of even trying to explain the “B” in LGBT to people. They understand that GAY means same-sex attraction. They are now just understanding that TRANS means the transition of gender (but does not define one’s sexuality.)
Let’s touch on dating and relationships and I’m sure many people are interested in this topic. When you date or try to get to know someone [male or female].
Which gender do you feel like gives you the hardest time about your bisexuality?
This answer may surprise a couple people, but I would honestly have to say, men. Whenever I’m trying to pursue a woman on a personal level. I may get the question “are you Gay?” but that’s about it, once I disclose my sexuality to her. With guys it also feel like I have to pick.
With guys I always feel like I have to conform or put my sexuality in a box. Most guys I have dated seem to get offensive if I am complementing a girl then if I were to complement a guy.
I think they fear losing you to the opposite gender. This also how some women feel about their man being on the DL.
Before coming out as bisexual how did you view other bisexual men?
I used to admire their confidence and versatility. When I grew on social media, I came across a social media influencer named Reece King.
When looking at Reece King photos I could see myself. Reece King also identifies as bisexual.
I realized then you could be masculine and feminine at the same time. My opinion about bisexual men hasn’t changed. I still believe they are powerful and amazing.
Personally, I feel like we need to see more bisexual men!!
Give us the top 5 misconceptions you believe other Gay men and women may have about bisexual men of color?
1. That we are confused about what we are attracted to.
2. Bisexual men are nasty and spread diseases.
3. Bisexual men don’t have standards!
4. We are trying to fit in socially with “straights” by being attracted to women.
5. We have a lot of threesomes or want to engage in open relationships.
How do you plan to support the bisexual community?
I want to be a trailblazer for bisexual colored men. It is not mainstream, I would like to be the first colored bisexual man to do this.
I’ve always wanted to push the limits on everything I have been passionate about.
I’m only 18-years-old and I’m trying to spread awareness about something I’m passionate and genuinely care about.
Regarding the respect of colored bisexual men, I feel like it should come naturally.
Once you have more colored successful bisexual men going mainstream, whoever try to disagree or discredit us will just look bitter.
Being you mentioned that you’re only 18 and have this much wisdom to share about a subject that often doesn’t even get touched on by mature adults is impressive. I don’t know too many 18-year-olds who care enough to even want to speak and reach others regarding this matter or any matter besides celebs, and other bullshit. I believe you are heading in the right direction and the whole community will hear more about you soon.
❤️thank you so much!
“Bisexuality is just a phase.”
You touched on it earlier in the interview but share more about this statement.
I feel like the statement “it’s a phase” is just a pass for the person to feel comfortable.
I don’t like that statement only because it’s degrading to men like myself who are bisexual. You don’t hear people going around saying “being straight is just a phase.” The “phase” word is only targeted towards the LGBT+ community.
It’s definitely offensive and shouldn’t be used to describe someone’s feelings regarding to who they are attracted to. But I believe in evolving as a human being.
If I choose later on only to be attracted to men than that’s my choice. I shouldn’t feel bad or ashamed. I’m human and my feelings can change!!
Let’s say you were to settle down with somebody whether that person being a male or female. Would you allow them to restrict you from exploring your sexual desires or would you request an open relationship so you can enjoy your sexuality as a bisexual man?
Bisexual men aren’t sex toys. Just because a man decided he wants to be bisexual doesn’t mean he is into polygamous relationships. I can fulfill all my sexual desires with one person and be okay for the rest of my life.
It doesn’t matter what your sexuality is that will not protect you from a partner cheating or being unfaithful.
When I break up with a boy or girl, I don’t think about an approval. The person that’s dating me knows I like both genders. If someone tries to restrict me from liking both genders, then that’s an insecurity within themselves.
How do you feel about bisexual men who cheat on their significant other or bisexual (down low) men who uses their bisexuality as a way to step out on the low or in secret?
Being a man and identifying as something within the LGBT+ community is already socially bad in this society. The odds have been against bisexual men for years regarding their sexuality. Being DL is actually understandable, especially for colored men! The culture has belittled those who identify with anything outside of heterosexuality. It’s implanted into our brains as kids that being in the [LGBT+] community is wrong.
Regarding the cheating, you can’t stop what a person wants to do sexually with another person.
Straight men cheat on women all the time. But because a bisexual man does it, it’s a huge ordeal. Bisexuality is a sexuality, not a personality trait!! A cheater is just a cheater, no matter their gender or sexual orientation.
Before we close out this discussion… what would be something you hope to see happen with you bringing awareness about bisexual men of color and the bisexual community?
I honestly would love to just get a “thank you” or “you changed my life” from someone who Is going through this issue. This movement is bigger than me, I and many other brothers will have to step up and make these changes.
Thank you for allowing me to interview you! I’m sure we’ll be addressing more stuff on JBA!
No, Thank You for giving me this opportunity and platform
What’s one piece of advice you want to share with other bisexual men of color?
We all share something in common. They have suppressed us into hiding our true emotions and thoughts regarding to our sexuality. You were born a King and will remain a King no matter what challenges may come in your way!!!
How can people find you on social media?
My Instagram – @nhvvada | Twitter- @nhvada
He’s Not Your Man! He’s Everybody’s Man Including Your Ex’s!
I can’t stand when people wanna flash and flaunt their relationships when everybody knows the guy ain’t shit.
I’m not talking about the real authentic couples, I’m speaking about the couples who always in some mess.
If you know every and anybody has been with your man, then that’s not your man.
I’m sorry to put it to you like that… unfortunately, too many people claiming ownership over men who ain’t even theirs half the time.
You can’t be on and off with somebody and expect to be the only one he’s laying with or seeing period.
I know it sounds raw, but that’s the truth.
Most couples who are breaking up only to make up just for you to end up getting played out is silly to me.
For me, if we on and off then we not solving anything by staying together.
And more than likely you dipping your dack in somebody else.
I have a hard time believing somebody in a on and off relationship ain’t sliding through somebody else’s bedroom or front door.
These Gays out here trying to hang on, keep around or shelter a man.
If he’s not happy then let him go.
You can’t sit around thinking that you get special treatment that millions of other Gays don’t get.
Forcing something that isn’t there becomes problematic no matter how you try to pretend that shit is fine, when we all know it’s not.
They going to continue to do you wrong while you try to relive a memory that is no longer here for you to relive. Some things are better left done then trying to redo and recreate.
You know he’s not faithful and everyone around you knows this, so why you still lying to yourself?
Why can’t you see that the man you got ain’t your man sus?
That man belongs to everybody! He’s not trying to be limited to just you.
Is what you should say to him every time he up in your face smiling and trying to sling that dack your way.
Some of these men fight and argue just so they can leave and do their dirt.
You still haven’t caught on yet, sus?
Some of you will stay with a man that ain’t good just to say you got a man. You’ll allow him to damn near do anything and everything foul to you, while you do nothing about it.
That mentality of having half of a man is toxic for many of you.
Instead of moving on and finding better you rather stay and “work it out” when there’s nothing left to work on.
Sometimes the work is done and over and you both still can’t walk away and move on. It’s all about growth and if a person isn’t growing with you, then you stuck with a dud.
Fellas: Do A Fact Check On These Men!
After my recent failed attempts with dating within the last year, I have started fact checking shit more than ever before…
WAIT ON IT…
We about to dive deep!
So let’s get deeper!
I mean, I’m the type to investigate that ass to the fullest!
I wanna know everything about you even the shit you don’t want me to know.
Too many guys out here are playing games especially online.
They will tell you any and everything and leave out the fact that none of it is factual.
Some shit these men say is pure bullshit and will have you questioning yourself.
Some of Y’all are quick to believe everything these men tell you.
I had a guy lie to me about his entire life!!!
I’ve had guys lie about their status to their past dating history.
I’ve had men lie about having a job only to find out they were street hustling and escorting for TINA and Molly…
What’s even worse is the fact I had an ex lie about having a baby on me!
I think another [ex] who lied about being in the hospital with food poison when he was really laid up in somebody else’s bed tops them all for me!
But a lie is a lie and a liar ain’t never ashamed to mislead anyone.
Some of these men (I take that back) most of these guys are professional liars.
They have been lying since day one!
They were conditioned to lie about their sexuality and even worse when it comes to their daily lives everything just filled with lies and fairytales.
To add to the list of lies: They lie about their sexual position, their intentions and even their dack size!
There’s no telling what’s about to come out of a man’s mouth when he speaks to you. Especially when he’s been a liar all his life, that’s all he knows.
Fact check is important!
I like investigating and doing my little investigation on these men.
I check social media accounts even going as far to check in with your mammy and ex!
You gotta get a full ass report on these men out here otherwise they will straight up use you dry and drain you out.
We can’t sit back and trust everything a man tells us especially not off no dating app. If you meeting guys online, take every and anything they say with a grain of salt!
Everything he says can’t be all true even the most honest guys keeping something from you.
Some may say actions speak louder than words but even in this day and age people can show you one thing but mean something else. You can believe you in a whole ass relationship and really find yourself being played!
Trust all things know while believing nothing you hear without the PROOF!
FACT CHECK HIS ASS! FELLAS!
Y’all Be Giving Off Bottom Teas But Will Top Em All Down!
Looks are deceiving so never get caught up on what looks a certain way because behind a closed door they may surprise you.
I love pretty boys who can give you that feminine energy while being able to buss down booty with no fucks to give.
Yeah, I said it. I like a “feminine” sexy guy who can put on that bottom look that so many of you criticize and he can slang the dack good.
Y’all be sleeping in the good dack because Ya’ll be chasing “masculine” or “straight-acting” ass men. Meanwhile, the ones who got the best dack be the queen’s Ya’ll always shading down!
For me, if it comes down to getting the dack, I want me a man who can handle the ass. I don’t care for a man I can just stare at and show off as a trophy.
Y’all really out here sleeping on some good ass wood. Trust me!
I remember like yesterday when I let my first “bottom” topped me!
Meanwhile Ya’ll with these tops who can’t even keep it up…
Whatever works for you but for me, I’m open minded and the more I explore my options the better my encounters get! Don’t believe me? Try something you’ve never tried and tell me it ain’t good after you experience it on more than one occasion.
I don’t care to hear about lesbian sex or you ain’t letting them climb your back. When a man got good dack, he got good dack! Get out of the looks department and peep out his stroke game!