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Dear Gays | Are You Open To Dating A Man With Children?

Would You Date A Man With Children?

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How many of you guys are willing to date a man with children? Whether if they are small children or grown kids/adult children???

How do you guys feel about gay men who have children and would like to date you?

I personally have my positive and also negative views about it. Of course, these are my thoughts from my own experiences with men with children. But overall, I think there are a lot of amazing gay men who are excellent fathers. They excel at fatherhood.

My experience with dating men with children was pretty non-dramatic. I never dealt with the "baby mama" drama. I wouldn't assume most gay couples would because most of the time the women are gay as well. I've dated two men who had children with their best friend.

Regardless of how their children were conceived, I think they all were amazing dads.

I will say, if you plan on dating a man with children then you must respect some boundaries. His children come first! That's an obvious fact. If his children don't come first then you better know you won't even come last to him!

The way he cares for his children should speak volumes on how he cares about himself. A bad father is just a bad man, period. I don't understand how anybody can bring life into this world, acknowledge the fact they got offspring and not care for them.

Also if you're interested or open-minded to dating a man with children, also understand he will require family time (with or without you.)

If you are the clingy smothering type then this type of man will not work for you. He has children and more than likely he's active in their lives. So if you come into the situation you would have to respect that first and foremost.

There's something sexy about a father to me. For me, fatherhood brings so much out of a man that he didn't discover within himself before fatherhood. It's sexy, it's attractive and it's inspiring. Seeing a man in his element raising black Kings and Queens is beautiful.

I would say give this man a chance. Don't be guarded or judgmental thinking it's going to block you both from building together. If anything you will become apart of his creation and help expand his family’s growth.

Also, understand that some men will not introduce you to their children right away. I think this is very important because trust must be earned. If you entering his life you coming into theirs as well. So it's only right for him to want to make sure you the perfect fit for him and his family.

If you meet a man with older/grown children understand if he's not open with them about his sexuality. Some men are completely comfortable with sharing their lifestyle with their children, etc. but there are also some men who are not as comfortable with being so "open" about their personal life with their kids.

I've dated a man who had grown kids but they asked not to be apart of his lifestyle. I had to respect their decision. Some guys may not want you apart of their children's life either. It's not personal unless well, he's still with their mother on the low.

Here are some of my own advice and tips for those of you who are open-minded enough to date men with children:

Don't try to play daddy!

- Please if you could respect his role as the father. If he gives you permission to discipline them then okay. Just don't cross any boundaries you wouldn't cross with anybody else's children. Know your place!

Be open-minded to becoming a part of his family.

- Dating somebody is one-thing but once you become official then it's a different level of trust. Understand that his family is important to him and if he lets you close to them then you are as well. Whatever you do just make sure it's with good intentions.

Respect and also accept the mother's role and connection to him.

- The mother is the mother regardless. She's not going anywhere unless he cuts ties with her. As the mother of his children, she's in the picture. You don't have to know her, speak to her or be involved with her. Your relationship and connection is your only focus. Thankfully I didn't have to deal with any crazy baby mamas. If he's bi and they were once an item then it's possible she may show her ass from time to time.

That's all I got regarding dating black gay men with children.

I would say take things slow because anything could happen. You don't want to make strong connections with his kids and then y'all abruptly break up.

Be open-minded and also be understanding of the requirements he needs outside of the relationship regarding his children.

I think for a lot of you dating a man with children would be a positive thing. Instead of doing what you been used to doing-- it introduces you to new experiences and memories to create for yourself.