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Celibacy!

I know a lot of you don't practice celibacy and that's okay! I want to say this now — I'm not judging or condemning nobody. This is my truth and I'm sharing my thoughts on this topic.

I've been celibate for over a year now. The last person I fucked was my ex. During my last sexual encounter all I received was oral sex — He gave me some bomb ass head! He was slurping my shit proper!

Anyway, too much info. But being celibate for me now is easier than ever before and I'm going to tell you why.

One night stands have never been my thing at all. I can't get off half the time because I feel like something be missing. Maybe it's the actual connection that some of us like to have with a person, idk. But I used to be feeling out of my element during random hookups.

I've attempted to practice celibacy many times before. Like many other gay men — I kind of broke my celibacy and fell into temptation.

Of course, after I broke my celibacy with those individuals in the past I felt so disgusted with myself. It's like damn the shit wasn't even worth it.

Plus there's a lot of shit going on out here and I don't want any parts of it. I rather use my hand and please my damn self than to fuck a random and end up regretting it!

I don't think celibacy is appreciated as much as it should be. Some people hook up with random people and then months down the road they don't understand why shit is going wrong in their life. I truly believe the people we lay with can give us good and bad but that's my opinion.

Celibacy requires a lot of self-discipline and self-awareness. You have to be in tune with your inner being. I don't think a lot of people understand the depth of celibacy. People think of celibacy as just a method of not engaging in sexual activity.

Sex for me is deep and I'm starting to see how I need a connection with a person. Like many of you, I used to do things off of impulse and not rationalize my actions. I was just fucking to be fucking with no real reason behind giving random people my body.

I understand sexual urges and don't get me wrong, every day I am tempted. I have many options of men I could be fucking. I just rather not go through with it because of the bigger purpose. Celibacy is important in my life right now...

I will talk sex and get sexual and do all that sexting shit... but to actually go through with it? I mean with a guy that I don't see a future with? No.

The problem for me is the fact that people make assumptions about celibacy without actually knowing the reason behind it. For some people, it's a spiritual thing and for others, it's a lifestyle change. Don't judge people for claiming it. And yes, people can be celibate and slip up and mess up.

I want you to know if you reading this that you can fall down and get back up. Celibacy is a major change and shift in one's life and it's not an easy walk in the park. Some people think if you're celibate then you are damn near perfect and would never break it. Listen, most of us who have been celibate have broken it many times. It's not easy but it's never too late to continue where you left off.

I love it when I hear other black men speak on their celibacy because it opens my eyes to the power of it. Being celibate is beautiful and you don't have to be out here fucking and doing all types of stuff. It's okay to wait until marriage or at least for a fully committed partner.

At this point, I'm 29 and random sex doesn't work for me. I want to save myself for a partner with whom I have a deeper connection with. I want to be intertwined and soul tied to the right individual. I've had my fun and now I'm growing and seeing my progression. I want to do right by my obligations. I owe myself this for many reasons.

I'm detoxing myself and there's nothing wrong with that. This works for me. This may not work for you. You may not be the type of person who will find celibacy as a higher source for internal growth. If your interested in becoming celibate then do it. It's never too late to start practicing celibacy. Don't commit to it if you not going to try to take it seriously. It won't be easy but you can't knock it until you try it.