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Calling All Bisexual Men Of Color: Exclusive Interview With Nhavada About Discovering His Bisexuality And Not Being Ashamed Of Living In His Truth!

Well, I announced to all my followers on Instagram this year that I identify as bisexual. Apparently no one seems to even believe it exists or want to acknowledge that it is a real sexuality.

What made me even more alarmed was that some LGBT+ people also agreed with that statement, "bisexuality is not a real sexuality." As a young black man in this society, I realize this will always be a challenge for me because of people's ignorance or lack of education. I also feel like it’s more socially acceptable for a female to identify as bisexual and not get questioned then it is for a male. That’s not even including race.

- Nhvada

What has been the biggest struggle for you since coming out as a bisexual man of color?

The biggest struggle for me since coming out as bisexual and being a man of color has been the ignorant comments about me being “confused” or “selfish.”

What made you come out as bisexual? Also, what advice would you give other men who may feel like they are bisexual, but could be unsure how to go about revealing it?

What made me come out as a bisexual man was the urge to educate other boys and girls. I knew I had a platform to reach a younger audience of people and tell them it is okay to be different. Me coming out was bigger than me; I felt as though we needed more examples and I will be that example.

The advice I would give other men who may be unsure if they are bisexual is to let yourself be free and don’t look back! I realize it has restricted men from being too feminine. I would also say none of you guys are alone in this amazing journey of self-discovery.

I think this article will reach those individuals who may need this message the most. What has been the reaction from family and friends since coming out as bisexual vs. if you had come out as gay?

Going back to my statement that many people don’t believe in bisexuality. When my family first found out I was a bisexual man, it was very difficult for me because I was a boy. My family has now come to terms with what I identify as, but now the problem is that they want me to pick a gender to claim. My family doesn’t believe bisexuality is real. I feel like if I were to come out as gay it would be different. Because I’m still attracted to females, it confuses them into thinking I’m confused. My family seems to only acknowledge sexuality as “straight” or “Gay.”

Many people already have their minds made up about bisexuality to where it complicates the process of even trying to explain the "B" in LGBT to people. They understand that GAY means same-sex attraction. They are now just understanding that TRANS means the transition of gender (but does not define one's sexuality.)

Let's touch on dating and relationships and I’m sure many people are interested in this topic. When you date or try to get to know someone [male or female]. Which gender do you feel like gives you the hardest time about your bisexuality?

This answer may surprise a couple of people, but I would honestly have to say, men. Whenever I’m trying to pursue a woman on a personal level. I may get the question “are you gay?” but that’s about it once I disclose my sexuality to her. With guys, it also feels like I have to pick. With guys, I always feel like I have to conform or put my sexuality in a box.

Most guys I have dated seem to get offensive if I am complementing a girl then if I were to complement a guy. I think they fear to lose you to the opposite gender. This also how some women feel about their man being on the DL.

Before coming out as bisexual how did you view other bisexual men? I used to admire their confidence and versatility.

When I grew on social media, I came across a social media influencer named Reece King. When looking at Reece King photos I could see myself. Reece King also identifies as bisexual. I realized then you could be masculine and feminine at the same time. My opinion about bisexual men hasn’t changed. I still believe they are powerful and amazing. Personally, I feel like we need to see more bisexual men!!

Give us the top 5 misconceptions you believe other gay men and women may have about bisexual men of color?

1. That we are confused about what we are attracted to. 2. Bisexual men are nasty and spread diseases. 3. Bisexual men don’t have standards! 4. We are trying to fit in socially with “straights” by being attracted to women. 5. We have a lot of threesomes or want to engage in open relationships.

How do you plan to support the bisexual community?

I want to be a trailblazer for bisexual colored men. It is not mainstream, I would like to be the first colored bisexual man to do this. I’ve always wanted to push the limits on everything I have been passionate about. I’m only 18-years-old and I’m trying to spread awareness about something I’m passionate and genuinely care about. Regarding the respect of colored bisexual men, I feel like it should come naturally. Once you have more colored successful bisexual men going mainstream, whoever try to disagree or discredit us will just look bitter.

You mentioned that you're only 18 and have this much wisdom to share about a subject that often doesn't even get touched on by mature adults is impressive. I don’t know too many 18-year-olds who care enough to even want to speak and reach others regarding this matter or any matter besides celebs, etc. I believe you are heading in the right direction and the whole community will hear more about you soon.

❤️thank you so much! “Bisexuality is just a phase.” You touched on it earlier in the interview but share more about this statement. I feel like the statement "it’s a phase" is just a pass for the person to feel comfortable. I don’t like that statement only because it’s degrading to men like myself who are bisexual. You don’t hear people going around saying “being straight is just a phase.” The “phase” word is only targeted towards the LGBT+ community. It’s definitely offensive and shouldn’t be used to describe someone’s feelings regarding to who they are attracted to. But I believe in evolving as a human being. If I choose later on only to be attracted to men than that’s my choice. I shouldn’t feel bad or ashamed. I’m human and my feelings can change!! 

Let’s say you were to settle down with somebody whether that person being a male or female. Would you allow them to restrict you from exploring your sexual desires or would you request an open relationship so you can enjoy your sexuality as a bisexual man?

Bisexual men aren’t sex toys. Just because a man decided he wants to be bisexual doesn’t mean he is into polygamous relationships. I can fulfill all my sexual desires with one person and be okay for the rest of my life. It doesn’t matter what your sexuality is that will not protect you from a partner cheating or being unfaithful. When I break up with a boy or girl, I don’t think about their approval. The person who’s dating me knows I like both genders. If someone tries to restrict me from liking both genders, then that’s insecurity within themselves.

How do you feel about bisexual men who cheat on their significant other or bisexual (down low) men who use their bisexuality as a way to step out on the low or in secret?

Being a man and identifying as something within the LGBT+ community is already socially bad in this society. The odds have been against bisexual men for years regarding their sexuality. Being DL is actually understandable, especially for colored men! The culture has belittled those who identify with anything outside of heterosexuality. It’s implanted into our brains as kids that being in the [LGBT+] community is wrong. Regarding the cheating, you can’t stop what a person wants to do sexually with another person. Straight men cheat on women all the time. But because a bisexual man does it, it’s a huge ordeal. Bisexuality is a sexuality, not a personality trait!! A cheater is just a cheater, no matter their gender or sexual orientation.

Before we close out this discussion... what would be something you hope to see happen with you bringing awareness about bisexual men of color and the bisexual community?

I honestly would love to just get a “thank you” or “you changed my life” from someone who is going through this issue. This movement is bigger than me, I and many other brothers will have to step up and make these changes.

Thank you for allowing me to interview you!

No, Thank You for giving me this opportunity and platform.

What’s one piece of advice you want to share with other bisexual men of color?

We all share something in common. They have suppressed us into hiding our true emotions and thoughts regarding to our sexuality. You were born a King and will remain a King no matter what challenges may come in your way!!! How can people find you on social media?

My Instagram - @nhvvada | Twitter - @nhvada