4 Key Stages Of Dating That Gay Men Still Don’t Understand! 2 3046

These are the four critical stages of dating thatI think” gay men still don’t understand at all. Because of many of us rarely seeing other healthy gay relationships most of the time. We don’t have something to use as a set example for our own relationships. Not too many of us have seen successful Black gay couples strive together. We may have seen it from the heterosexual standpoint of how relationships form and often time remain strong through error and trial.

Most gay men jump into microwavable relationships rather quickly.

They end up “dating” for a week [or maybe two if they’re lucky to make it that far] and then end up falling out over some nonsensical BS.
Things fade because it’s not built based on a real foundation. It’s a messy situation altogether. A lot of gay men do not understand the proper stages of dating. I see a lot of them jumping through hoops or skipping steps only to find themselves back at stage one = being alone.

You can’t jump into a relationship overnight. It doesn’t work like that, and when it does, it ends just as fast.

I also find individuals who jump into quick relationships do it out of insecurities. A lot of these men have self-esteem issues. Let’s keep it real, abandonment issues are a prominent problem within the men in our community.
These men are jumping into these microwavable relationships (or sexual relationships in most cases.) They end up being used and abused and they turn around and become predators repeating the same ish to other guys. It becomes a cycle of problems, and they give the community the wrong idea of what love stands for. These men make the simplest relationships so damn complicated, but that’s LOVE to them.


Somebody needs to wake-up and realize the destruction that is progressing on isn’t helping us at all. It’s creating more chaos for all of us.
It’s essential to learn everything you need to know about him, first fellas! For many reasons! It will save you time. You need to know a person inside and out before you claim them as your bae, boyfriend, hubby, man, etc. TRUST ME. IT WILL SAVE YOU TIME and TEARS.


You know when you meet a guy, and you both agree to exchange numbers. It starts with that simple text message, which leads towards more texts and phone calls, etc. Things go well, and it’s on a friendship level FIRST. You both sending cute, flirty emojis and the whole nine.

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This is the beginning stage of a dating situationship. It’s not guaranteed to go anywhere. No promises are being made or any expectations at all which prevent disappointment in the leading days if he goes ghost.

This is testing the waters stage seeing what works and who can go to the next level. You have several guys, or a few you’re entertaining. Everything is fresh and new. You’re just vibing each other out.

The downside to this is that most guys can not and will not get past this stage and because they lack consistency. Most guys have too many options, so they forget about you [vice versa]. The ultimate bull is the fact most guys end up going ghost before their 90 day probation period.


It’s been weeks, months, etc. Things are going steady for the two of you. You both are seeing each other often. You’re getting comfortable with him [vice versa]. You both share a mutual interest. It went from the friend level to feelings developing. You haven’t cut off other guys and contacts but you consider having a strong liking for this individual. You think you know what you want and only time will tell.


You’re dating and everything is official and you both agree to focus on each other. Letting go of all the other flings, one-night stands, ex cuddle buddies, ex’s, etc.

You waste no time calling him bae! This time you actually mean it! 


It’s 100% official! You’re together as a couple. Everything is well even though you both notice small flaws and faults.

The honeymoon stage is over, you both are in a beautiful relationship.

You get to see a side of people you didn’t see during the earlier stages of the dating situationship.

The biggest issue for most gay couples is that they’ve skipped the first few stages. You can’t jump straight into stage four and then think it will be healthy. That’s how most relationships go sour and fade quickly.

Building a relationship takes time and nurturing the beginning stages. Rushing into love is not the best decision. You can’t jump into something overnight thinking it will last you a long time. It never last, and in most cases, gay men jump into the next one.

Pay close attention to how your dealing with men. Whether if you’re dating or trying to date them. Skip no stages and remain confident in yourself. If the relationship meant to be then, it will happen.

Otherwise, we will keep jumping from one short-lived relationship to the next one.

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