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According To Anthony

10 Things All Gay Relationships Need To Last | Boundaries Included!!

JustBeingAnthony

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Anybody that knows me for real for real knows that I take relationship boundaries very fucking serious!

There are certain things you can not do or cross with me while dating or even in a relationship with me. I have zero tolerance for bullshit! I let it be known upfront what I like and what I will not accept from any man.

I feel like people get caught up in the honeymoon stage. They become so infatuated with a person that they don’t set the tone for the relationship. You can’t get caught up on that dick/ass or his charming approach. You need to set some ground rules for both of you and the relationship.

I’m the type of person that will tell you on day one my expectations and boundaries. At 29, it’s a quick three strikes you out if you even get a third chance at this point. Enough of the bullshit I’m here for the gain and not any more preventable losses.

I will curve you at any moment if you disrespect or disregard me in any way, shape or form. Periodddt!

So check out my list of relationship boundaries and also things that keep relationships together. These are my opinions at least it should be beneficial to all of you.

1.) Communication Comes First | All Texts Is A No No And No Calls Is A Problem!

I think couples especially new couples forget the importance of communication. You have to have strong communication if you want a relationship to work and anything less than that isn’t acceptable.

I feel like if my partner doesn’t know how to communicate than it will become a problem for the both of us. All texting and no calls not going to work with me. A lot of people are now dating through text messages and not actual authentic connections.

You need to hear these emotions in order to know exactly how the fuck I feel. We can only connect but so deep through text messages. Yes, it’s a quicker way to communicate but all texts and no phone calls not going to work. We gotta establish this upfront so that we don’t hit any bumps in the road during our love journey.

2.) Setting Up Me Time For Me

One of the biggest mistakes any person can make in a relationship is not set up that “me time” for themselves. I know we can become so soaked up into our partners but it’s very important to have some space. Sometimes too much of something will wear anybody out.

In Case If You Missed It!  Stop Lying To Yourself! That Man Don’t Love You!

I believe some hours or even a day alone or away from each other is healthy. You wanna give your partner a reason to miss you.

3.) Social Media And Rules

Everybody and their gay uncle and boyfriend are on social media. Sometimes social media is the biggest issue for couples because most of the time it gets them in trouble!

There have to be some rules in place for social media usage. Social media can be a blessing and a problem for many of us.

Me personally, I’m never on my phone when I’m with a boyfriend, date, etc. I feel like my phone should be away while I and my man play.

I’ve had issues with men on social media/on their phone while with me and I know how frustrating it is. So let it be known upfront when bae is with you that the phone won’t be around except for any emergencies.

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4.) Be Honest at all times Periodtt…

You must present the truth at all times. The biggest downfall for all relationships is the lack of honesty.

When you don’t be honest you can ruin a good thing. I don’t care what method you use on them. You have to make them understand how important honesty is in the relationship. If they can’t be honest then there is no relationship. So lying and betrayal is a major deal-breaker.

5.) Communication Is A Must | How Often You’ll Communicate

Dating and communication go hand in hand. Building a long-lasting relationship doesn’t work without it. When you’re first dating somebody you probably find the way you both communicate as being quick, fast and constant. They texting you all day and you actively and quickly reply back. It seems like the perfect communication ever. Days later, weeks go by and y’all not texting or talking as much as y’all did at first.

Well, of-course people have obligations and work/school activities to attend. People have friendships and family relationships to also uphold so you can’t have them all to yourself. Some people become caught up in me me me right now the quick and instant side of things and forget about the reality. But you have to set the boundaries for how the two of you will communicate and how often through out the day.

In Case If You Missed It!  It’s Okay To Say You’re Not Okay!

When you hanging with friends you need to tell them you’ll text them when you get a chance. If you don’t do this you’ll have that partner that blows up your phone 24/7. That’s not good and of course, you won’t be able to function in your daily life while dealing with a partner that seems to be too involved in your day.

Let them know the times when you will be available and able to communicate with them. This applies to long-distance relationship particularly because all you rely on is devices. But explain to them that certain times out the day they won’t hear from you. If they don’t respect that then well you may want to end things.

6.) What Is Acceptable And What You Won’t Accept From Them | In The Bedroom

People fail to respect other’s wishes when they don’t set the tone in the relationship. Certain things you are willing to deal with and certain things you just won’t. This could be anything from openness with the idea of threesomes to sexual interactions. What you like and don’t like should be established from the jump. I get that some people wait until later to reveal these things at the last second.

If you don’t like oral then say that. If you not into threesomes and orgies then let your partner know this upfront. I don’t think too many gay couples have this issue but I’ve spoken to gay men who have dealt with this problem. Sometimes they will discover something new about their partner and automatically dislike it and complain about it.

7.) Relationship Goals And Purpose

One thing that annoys me is dealing with a person who acts like they didn’t know my relationship goals when they first met me.

If I tell you I want marriage, kids, a house on the hills with a farm, I meant that. This is something that must be in place or everything else will fall off and eventually apart. We have to know what we both want and expect out of the deal. The relationship is a two-sided situation. You know I want marriage and kids then you would also want the same. If you don’t want the same thing then what we doing this for?

In Case If You Missed It!  D!ck Is Everywhere Chemistry Isn't!

8.) Compromise, Compromise, Compromise

Compromising in what 99% of couples are expected to do at some point. If you can’t agree to compromise for each other then what do you have to build as a team?

A relationship is often all about compromises because people are complicated and you probably are too. Nobody sees each other’s views as the same or equal all the time. There will be points where you have to change your desires to fit theirs, vice verse. So it’s important to be able to compromise.

9.) No Exes, Old Flings Or Hoes Allowed

When you in a new damn relationship all old things should be dismissed and out the way. There is no room for old experiences in new situations. If you stuck with an old thing while dating somebody new then you in trouble.

10.) Don’t Forget “Yourself” While In A Relationship

The last and final statement I have for this post is to never forget yourself while in a relationship.

Don’t lose the hobbies you had before dating and building a relationship. Don’t forget about your friends and family. Certain things should never come last on your list of love. You have to still make time for the things that you love outside of the relationship. You still want an identity outside of your partner.

People become so focused on their partner that they forget about themselves. You have to continue being you and doing the things you loved doing just as much as you did before you met them. Losing your self will also affect the relationship at some point because you will become resentful.

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According To Anthony

How To Know When He Doesn’t Like YOU That He Only Likes The Bussy Or The D!ck

JustBeingAnthony

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I’m going to be as blunt as possible. I know this may come off cold but I gotta be honest about the shit.

He didn’t like you, wasn’t going to ever like you and only used you for the dick or bussy.

Yeah, I said it!

It’s so obvious and apparent that sometimes it goes unnoticed by y’all. Shit, I’ve been in the same situation — until I had to step outside of it and see the truth.

It’s never easy to come to terms with being used for sex. A lot of gay men are skilled at this shit. It baffles me when people don’t know when somebody gaming them.

So I created a list for y’all with all the tell signs. Things that most of you probably have noticed but ignored or tried to overlook for other reasons.

He’s Only Available During Certain Hours Of The Day (Mostly At Night)

It’s one thing if he’s working or in school, etc. If you find yourself dealing with a half-ass guy who only comes around for sex, you better run! It’s usually the easiest way to spot a guy who happens to be using you.

Most of you are so hypnotized by the dick that you don’t see it coming. Some of you have caught them in the act of cheating and being dishonest. It’s all about sex for him. Read in-between the lines.

The Only Conversation He Has Is Based Around Sex!

If you find the only most interesting topic of choice for him is sex then accept that shit. This is his way of letting you know, he’s not investing his time into anything more than that.

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I’ve been in situations where I would try to get to know a guy, but it would always lead in a different direction.

You should know where his mind is by his conversation and if his actions only equal up to sex than you a plaything and not the real thing for him.

He Talks About NSA (No Strings Attached)

If he tells you NSA only then you need to accept that. Don’t sit up wasting your time with somebody who doesn’t value it.

You have to identify his purpose immediately or else you’ll just fall into his game. No, you can’t fuck him so good that he’ll love you.

You can’t butter him up and gain more than his sperm. When a person shows you who they are believe them. There’s no altering or changing his ways, mindset or mentality.

After Sex He’s Nowhere To Be Found!

Have you ever dated somebody and noticed them disappearing after sex? I mean it could be for a few days or even weeks. Then all of a sudden they pop back up just in time to hook up again?

Yes, this should be also a big red flag that he’s only involved with you for sex. When he gets what he wants he’s onto the next piece of ass or peen. More than likely he has a few guys in the rotation.

There’s No Emotions or Intimacy Involved!

Have you ever had sex with a person and felt nothing from it? I mean like just straight penetration but no actual romantic connection or even attempt to be intimate? This is how things are for these type of men.

In Case If You Missed It!  Celibacy!

They will have sex with you on a regular basis with no affection or emotions attached. It’s basically meaningless and it serves no real purpose. Most guys like to fuck just for the body count and ego.

It’s Always One-Sided!!!

This is a sad scenario but very true in many cases. You’re engaging in sex and after they get their climax you’re left without one. If a guy is into you he’s going to put the same amount of time into pleasing you also. If it took you over 20 minutes to get that motherfucka to blow. You better get your end of the bargain. If it’s only one-sided then you better make sure you see the facts. He’s not into you and he’s definitely using you for sex.

On the flip side, he may be the most romantic person in bed. He may be the one to help you climax before he gets closed to it. After the sex, he could go right back to being distant and disinterested. If a guy only wants to hang out with you for sex then you need to value yourself more. Your body should be treated like gold, not dirt.

You have to have standards and allowing somebody to use your body is sad. I will say we’ve all been used before by somebody. I don’t care how much game you think you got. You have been played before, so we all can take this L!

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According To Anthony

Stop Lying To Yourself! That Man Don’t Love You!

JustBeingAnthony

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How many of us have stayed in relationships that we knew we should have ended moons ago?

I know for a fact I’ve held onto relationships that had already been over and I was lying to myself and hoping that things would change.

The problem is nothing changes and then we’re forced to be confronted with the reality which we still continue to deny.

One thing about reality is the fact that no matter how hard you lie to yourself — the proof will always be in front of your face.

Holding onto things that serve us no purpose only keeps us stuck in our own misery.

How many people you’ve known that stayed in bad relationships and everybody else knew what the tea was in their relationship? They keep making excuses, hiding the facts, pretending and acting as if everything is okay.

There’s no worse imprisonment than to be a hostage in your own mind about your own fucked up relationship. It can’t get any worse than that and a lot of us were there and we’ve played that role too many times.

Love will have you shattered and still picking up the pieces trying to put a broken glass heart back together.

You can lie to yourself but the truth will always hurt if you don’t accept the facts for what it is. It’s not going to hurt as bad if you face it. The more you run from the truth the more painful your journey will be.

I’ve seen people get STDs, walked in their home to witness strangers in their bed, received threats from random people over the person they claim they love. What do you get out of being with a person who doesn’t value you, let alone care about your well being?

In Case If You Missed It!  Stop Lying To Yourself! That Man Don’t Love You!

How are you going to fight for somebody that won’t fight for you?

Stop lying to yourself and face the fact that this man is no longer the dream man you’ve once met. We fall in love expecting forever with people who were only meant to be in our life temporarily if at all.

You can’t force a man to love you if he doesn’t even love himself. A lot of us meet these damaged souls and we think we can heal them and love them. After it’s said and done we end up being the ones who need the most healing. He’s going to leave you more damaged than what he brought into the relationship.

The more you forgive a person who not trying to change makes you the fool. Not a fool who isn’t wise enough to do better — but a fool who can’t see the facts as they are laid out before you.

We have to take responsibility behind the actions which we accept, tolerate and embrace. You’re abusing yourself every time you go back to that tormented soul. You can’t allow people to break your spirit because they are already broken. Hurt people hurt people, but you don’t have to be the one to accept their hurt as your own.

I know we often get caught up on the good side of the man and the good things he’s done in the past. That’s just a faded memory. If he was a good man then he wouldn’t have changed or switched upon you.

In Case If You Missed It!  Dear Gays | If He Says He Doesn’t Want You Believe Him!

No man will love you and then bring you pain willingly unless there is a bigger and deeper issue which he needs healing or help for.

Love yourself by getting out of any dysfunctional relationship. Because the longer you stay the more damage you’re causing on yourself. The best way you can save yourself is by not staying. If he doesn’t love you then let him go. Don’t try to stick around or get him to love you. If the love is gone it’s gone for good.

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According To Anthony

I’m Getting Mine Before You Get Yours!

JustBeingAnthony

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The greatest advice any gay man has ever given me “get yours before they get theirs or you won’t get anything in return at all!” This is a lesson that I didn’t appreciate until I saw it for myself.

How many of you reading this ever been in a situation where you have made a man climax but he didn’t do the same for you? He found any and every excuse for why he couldn’t help you get yours too.

It could be an ex-lover or just a random fuck. You did everything to please them and they dropped the ball!

Stop fulfilling other people’s needs and start fulfilling your own.

Meaning: you can still please somebody but make sure you get yours too.

I would rather get mine first than last. I don’t care what nobody says. If a man is benefiting from my sex skills, then I better be getting one-off too.

Communication isn’t enough because I’ve been with guys who talked a good ass game — but couldn’t deliver their promises.

These guys will tell you any and everything to get theirs but will leave you disappointed when you expect the same in return.

We are the ones that fulfill our sexual duties and promises. Some of us talk big shit about the bedroom and also put in that work to back it up. Sadly it is the ones who put in that work that don’t benefit from it. These guys are lazy as fuck in bed as if it’s a prize to experience them.

In Case If You Missed It!  Dear Gays | Don’t Lose Hope In Looking For Love!

The shit should always be 50/50. If I’m fucking with you, then I’m expecting you to give me the same effort I’m giving you. I’m nobody’s quickie. If I decide to break my celibacy tomorrow, it will be with the right type of man.

Too many guys requesting a whole lot from others but slacking when it comes to their performance in the bedroom. If that dick or ass ain’t doing the job then the problem is you.

Sex is supposed to be enjoyable but if it’s more work than play then I don’t want it. Some of you gotta learn how to be selfish with selfish ass men. I don’t care if he did anything good during foreplay.

The moment it’s time for that big climax we both should be able to reach that peak! There is no I’m getting mine and you left to figure out how to get yours on your own. Don’t get me started on the guys that put in little effort to please you. Like are you fucking kidding me?

No more part-time pleasers, please! If you not here for the enjoyment of both of us then I don’t want any of it.

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